The Angry Little Man

The angry little man is a demon, one out of plenty of others inside everyone.
He doesn't do much. Actually he does nothing at all, unless someone calls him out.
The angry little man hates bad drivers. He's very generous with giving the finger.
He has no tolerance for the rudeness of other people, and he doesn't keep it to himself. He makes sure his values are understood and implements it on others.
He spots the bullshit in every story and again, tells the teller to his face.
The angry little man seems to want somebody to throw the first punch, and he'll do the rest.

I was having a meal with afew people the other day, and one of them happened to be Ezqobah.
We ordered, i didn't order much. A simple drink and something to snack on. This restaurant is near the college and they use styrofoam cups. So Erna, you know what i'm talking about.
He ordered a meal.
When we had to pay, he went up to the counter, made false claims of what he had ordered and ran 50 meters away.
When i paid for mine, the cashier confronted me with the orders Ezqobah made.
I paid for him and made him pay me back.

Ever since then, just looking at him stimulates the angry little man.
Fecal matter comes out of his mouth every time it opens, and one of these days, it will hit the fan.

What he did at that restaurant, how far is that from throwing the first punch and leave your friends behind to handle it?
It's like running from a fight and leaving your friends behind.
Traitor.
He should be hanged for treachery.

Erna, other updates:

1. I heard rumours that Coco and Kiki hooked up. He's just like Tito. Just abit fatter. They're starting to look pathetic.
2. Foo and the happy f*ck are still around. We play less pool now though. Guess why...

There was more i swear....

If you're wondering about certain people, post a comment or something.

Conspiracy...?

What i heard were rumours but now fact.
Coco asked Rin to spend the night at her place.
Coco, my ex, who has been strangely nice and friendly towards Rin these past few days wanted Rin to spend the night, and clubbing. (not necessarily in that order)
Coco claims to be the type of person who is an honorable friend with good intentions towards everything. She's so friendly, she never has a problem with loneliness. She has so many friends, and tries makes so much more friends all the time its' like a singaporean trying to make money.

Why?

If i'm not mistaken, i could sense a hint of sadistic pleasure when she hears about someone not having as many friends as her. More sadistic if that someone is considered "attractive". It seems sometimes that to her, beating all the others in a pointless one-sided race is what life is all about.
Who cares how many friends you have?
Who cares about how you are able to treat your boyfriend like a pet?
Some of us do notice, and we let her go on with it. It's too troublesome to bother. If she's digging her own grave, the most i could do is watch...and maybe hold the light over her head.
We, her good friends (by her definition of the word "friend"), are the ones who plays pool or fooseball with you. The ones you keep company while we wait for our classes to start. The ones we joke around and have fun with over lunch.
But should she need a shoulder to cry on, i would think that she's in too deep in her self-dug grave to reach our shoulders. (While we're chilling and watch the stars in the sky and keeping her company while she dig, dig, dig)
I'm still available for some pool though, but she has a better chance of pushing elephants up stairs than expect me to be there in her time of need.
Not to forget that people such as myself, are her good friends.

Back to the topic whereby she invited Rin to spend the night at her place.
I'll make this quick.

Why, of all people, she invites someone whom she managed to get to know well afew days ago?
Because she has no other female friend?
She had! But she's normally too busy trying to get more and more male attention that her neglected female friends couldn't be f*ked to hang around in case she needs a shoulder to soak.

A message to all of you, you don't want to have friends like us. You don't want to be like her.

She thinks she's well respected by all. We think she's just a good time. (Not necessarily in a sexual manner)
Some girls live in a massive illusion that i'm intrigued in watching the moment the truth kicks in.

Cancer. The Crab.

I've just stumbled on an interesting discovery about Cancerians.
We like Wednesdays and we notice the wonders of twilight.
"The Magic Hour"

Twilight, a phenomenon whereby its' atmosphere effects everybody under it.
People feel no sadness, forgets their loneliness and sorrow. Everything seems all right.
(That's what i think anyway)

I guess that's all i got for today about Cancers.
(What? That's it?)
Yep. That is all...
(What about the mood swings? The emotional fluctuations? The warmth of a CRAB?)
Ah.. yes... mood swings. A cancers' starsign is exactly what it is. 69, sideways. It's 2 different people, going different ways, but the problem is that they both reside in the same body.
(And who found that one out?)
Thanks to Raspberry for pointing that out to me. Although sometimes i think i'm a 696.
(Meaning?)
(It means sometimes it feels like there's a third person. Fool.)
(No one asked you.)

Raspberry also mentioned that Cancers can tolerate and understand many types of people.
(Cause we have been those people)
We know what its' like.
(In terms of "way of thinking", been there, done that.)

This and That.

Rin, Raspberry and this pathetic excuse of a human/best friend/creature had an evil, evil argument that went horribly ugly. I'm not involved. Don't wish to be. Ever.

Flonne is way too naive. She's actually buying the whole "pet brother" or "pet sister" thing and taking it seriously. She uses those terms in serious conversations would "go the extra mile" for her pet brothers. BROTHERS (key letter in that word is "S").
Funny thing tho, whenever i ask her about how they ended up becoming each others' pet-whatever, it's normally the same story.
"This guy had a thing for me a long time ago, but i wasn't interested, so we kept in touch as pet siblings"
I can't emphasize this enough, "you must be blind or a neanderthal to not notice the problem from that sentence".
She won't listen to me. A few days after giving her an advice, i'll get a call from her, saying "i was thinking about what you said......"
Help not appreciated? Help not worth giving.

Erna sent me a message through an online community website.

My immune system went down for abit since i've been sleeping very little these past few days.

Therefore,
Nite.

An Intellectual Conversation

I think that it's now somewhat a hobby of my older sister and i, we would sit and talk about our opinions on morals and values of each other, the family and the society.
We would talk about family issues, friends, upbringing and how it affected us.
Most of the time the topic is our upbringing. Where our parents went wrong and how we followed.
She's a lawyer, i'm a business student. We both have different perspective of things. It is within conversations like these gave us an opportunity to compare/dissect/analyze the situation from both points of view. Being a lawyer had sort of enhanced her analytical skills which is pretty much the only thing that makes the conversation educational.
In my perspective, i took part in these conversations for my personal quest to become a better person, a better man.
I have been setting my own standards for everything. Some time ago, i set a standard on my own upbringing and in my opinion, my actual upbringing is below my own standards.

That's how this personal quest of mine began. I decided to bring myself up and become a better person. Become more than i am now and live life to its' ultimate fullest.

Flonne...

Flonne came back from where Erna is leaving to.
I havent seen her for about a year or so.
 
Flonne.
A girl i have mixed feelings for.
 
We were classmates. We went for the entrance exam together.
She was pure at mind, pure at heart. But this was a long time ago.
 
When she joined our class, we made fun of her purity. Of her naiveness, come to think of it, it was a horrible thing to do. We tried to corrupt her for our own entertainment. No one seemed to notice it, because everyone was doing it.
I was too lazy to get involved, at that time, i was still trying to accept the fact that i was stuck in a school full of retards.
 
The rest is pretty much an assumption, but it did not come from nowhere.
 I think at one point of time, her overprotective parents got on her nerves. She began to rebel against them. Knowing my classmates, i'm sure that at one point of time she was very lonely. We didn't help her one bit.
She ended up making friends from outside school. We don't put up with her naiveness because we wern't trying to get in her pants. Those guys outside school however, are different. Very different.
 
She began clubbing often and we notice it. We see her getting worse everyday. And what did we do? We left her alone. She's turned "rotten" if we get to close to her, we'll turn "rotten" to - was the mentality of my classmates.
I saw it happening. Step by step. By the time i decided to play a part in it, she stopped listening to me. I couldn't get through to her.  It got worse, the girls in the class started bitching about her behind her back, and the guys treated her with disrespect, thus lowering her self value.
I tried afew times, to help her, i slipped hints and advises in nearly everything i say since a direct approach would destroy any chance i had.
 
Serraph and I saw it coming. We anticipated everything and did nothing. We couldn't or didn't know what to do.
Next thing i knew, rumours went around about her sleeping around. That killed us.
She left the country sometime later. In a way, it was good for us. We needed that break.
 
Last year, she came back for a visit. She worked and saved up enough money to buy a ticket to fly here. She ran away from home. All the way here. I thought it was a bold move and in a way, respected her for being able to do so. Although i'm highly against it.
When she came back, to me, it was my second chance. Or an opportunity to try and justify what i did wrong before. She still hung with the wrong crowd, dated the wrong guys and so on. But i could talk to her about things. I tried to help her out as much as i could, even up to negotiating with her mother.
If she ever wondered why i was willing to do so much, it's because of guilt, sympathy and somehow i do wish for her to have a good future.
(Even thought of a business idea that could've saved all of us, but had to put it on hold)
 
I'm not sure when or how it happened, but one day i suspected that i had fallen for her.
I couldn't do anything about it since Serraph..........well....... that's another story, but i'm sure you get the idea.
 
I remember the conversation we had which led to her bringing up stories of "first times".
She said that her first time, he sort of forced himself on her.
And that, disturbed me for days.
That's when my brain sort of worked extra hard and i came up with the assumption of how she became like so.
 
Come to think of it, i think i really did fall for her at one point of time.
But it's been a year. I might see her tomorrow. I wonder what it would be like.
 

Chilli, Squirrel and Lor

According to Chillis' online journal, she showed this blog of mine to two of her friends. Squirrel and Lor.
 
I can only take comfort in the fact that i don't know them and neither do they know me.
I also heard that eclipse has good taste in girls.
*hint* *hint*
 
 
Jokes aside, hopefully it won't happen again.  Do they have online journals i can take a peek at by the way?

Erna's Departure.

Today was a sad day for quite a number of us. Erna's last day. She came to college and we pretty much did our usual rounds of pool, lunch, pool, fooseball and pool.
We left to a big fat shopping mall later. One that she used to go to often, probably for some last sentimental value.
Most of us are okay with it. They don't seem very effected by it. Even though they've known her longer. Most of them are guys. Guys are cold hearted people. I thought it wouldn't bother me until today. Today i realised what she is and why we got along well. There's a part of me that no one is even remotely capable of understanding. Erna somehow did. I think it meant alot more to me than she knows it.
 
I'm not one who's fine with words vocally. Everybody knows that. I write it all out.
I wasn't very close to Erna. Not as close as others. But I didn't need to be closer. It's fine the way it is and it's all i need.
 
There's definitely a significant dent in my college life because she left. If it were up to me, i'd tell her not to go. (Come to think of it, i did.) I wasn't in the position to decide. Far from it.
International school.... people come and go. Friends don't last very long. It has happened many times before.
She's been somewhat depressed lately. I probably know half the reason why. The other half is the part of her life i never got to know.
I could never figure out what about her that could change the atmosphere of a place. Her karma? What about her? Erna, maybe one day you can tell me.
 
We all miss you.
 
My farewell gift to her is access to this blog. May not be wise but she deserves to know the truth. (By the time she reads this, she'll be too far away to do anything. HAHAHAAHAA)
 

Graveyard

"Last month my maid's husband passed away.
Seeing a man go can be troubling. I still see it sometimes.
Him. Struggling. Then he hugged his wife. I thought it was a random hug. Turns out that it was his last seconds in this world. And he spent those precious seconds hugging his wife.
It was heart attack by the way. Although alot could've been done to prevent it.
Irresponsible people in the house.
Alot of them.
And because of that i lost a man who was more like a father to me than my own father. Hell, i was more prepared for my father to go. He was healthy and fit. What is the world coming to. Healthy people die sudden deaths and the unhealthy live on worrying about their unhealthy condition. "he's so healthy! he's gone! am i next??"
 
I saw a man die. I was there the moment his soul was freed from his body. The moment his heart stopped beating. I saw a dying man struggle to hold on to his life and failed. He had no energy. His only source of energy was from the pain he was feeling. Enough to make him gasp for breath.
And then he left."  
 
                                             -Layodante, 27th November, 2003.
 
I went to visit his grave today.
Funny thing about graveyards. It somehow gives me a sense of peace, and reminds me to be practical, to grow, to live. It's a sort of reference for living. It reminds you that no matter how rich or how successful i'll ever be, i'll end up here, like the rest of them, 6 feet under.
That's when i noticed a few graves that did not even have a name. It's just a marked area on the ground. Apparently, they are the graves of immigrants from a neighboring country. They came here to work and died here, without any relatives to take care of their graves and decorate it, let alone label it.
Is that what happens to people who pass away overseas?
A lonely grave that will probably remain like so for ages.
What a sad end.
 
Walking back to my car, i overheard someone asking the caretaker when he's leaving. He said not yet, there's still work to do. A little girl passed away.
 
 

Me Day of Birth III

This would be the final part of the Me Day of Birth series.
Friday, was the last day of the celebration. I celebrated with Serraph and Freyja.
 
We started out with our usual 5 hours at a certain cybercafe. Then we went on to buying drinks from a supermarket. Kampais, Long Island Teas, Beers and snacks.
We brought it all to Serraphs' place and chilled with some smokes and got drunk.
Stupid things happened when i get drunk. But nothing could beat the stupidity of what came out of my mouth.
 
Here's a shortt list of what i did when i was drunk. (Ref: Freyja)
1. Walked around pretending to be Godzilla.
2. Convincing people i was sober. (Then bust out laughing when i think they believed me)
3. Called Rin and had a really dumb conversation. (Serraph's theory was that i needed to hit on something)
4. Called up Coco. Serraph and Freyja knew me well enough to make me hang up quickly.
5. Oh man, can't remember.
 
What i do remember is making sure i don't slip some information (such as my blogspot url) out of my lips.
I think i felt sick after that, and nearly threw up.
There was a struggle, then i collapsed, and woke up without a hangover. (Amazing me....)
 
Thus ends the 3-day celebration of my birthday.

Me Day of Birth II

Let's begin with the top 5 strangest thing that happened this year:

5. King Arthur came out today, on the 15th, my seat was numbered 15 and naturally, it means today is the Day of Kings. (I'm not surprised....) =:p
4. I accidently picked up hints here and there about who is giving me what until i could pretty much tell who gave me what.
3. Those who pestered me to remember their birthdays and proudly brag of how they could remember mine.....didn't.
2. No cousins, no large family gathering, just small and simple.

And the NUMBER ONE "Strangest and most unexplainable" thing that happened this year is...
1. My dad got me a present.
___________________________________________________________________________

The day sort of dragged its' way through. It started out with an extremely patience-testing lecture and hours of killing time. I get messages along the way, every now and then, people wishing me happy birthdays.
I made the call for a movie at 1530 but unfortunately, only four were able to come. One of them, Ezqobah, cancelled on the last minute because he got soaked by rain. A pretty pathetic excuse to cancel something, but that's just how he is as a person. Lots of talk, lots of promises, lots of disappointments. If he was going somewhere, don't walk in the bloody rain before it.
The ones who made it was Rin, Foo and VC. VC's a classmate of mine (somewhat). Erna was supposed to come along, but she was stuck in some immigration office. Having fun.

After the movie, we all went our seperate ways home. I have to admit that i did feel sort of lonely when i reached home. There was nobody. Not even the maid. It was just me and the whole house to myself. For hours and hours until night time fell.

They came back, prepared everything and now let's talk about the gifts.
1. Shoes from my lawyer sister. Really nice ones. She knows what i like.
2. Some bunch of funky stuff from my pregnant sister and her husband. (One of them was this really cool plastic guy with a parachute!) An ashtray with some apple smell for it.
3. A shirt from my little sister.
4. Some cash from my maid. (Very thoughtful of her. I wish they would all just give me cash. Especially my parents. They bought me stuff like.....)
5. Pants from my mom. I told her not to buy pants without me. I'm quite fussy about pants. And with good reasons too, like the fact that the ones she bought did fit me quite horribly. But she did get me some kick-ass sandals.
6. Badminton shoes from my dad. Why? Because he likes badminton. How very thoughtful. It's nearly funny since he said he bought them because he noticed that i had no badminton shoes. Actually, i DO. He bought them for me afew sizes big so i'd grow into them. I havent. If only he was more of a gamer...

There was a cake. I like the cake. It's the same type of cake i get every year.
I told them i didn't want a cake. But nevermind, it's all good.

That concludes the day.
On to tomorrow. The last part of Me Day of Birth.

Me Day of Birth I

I spent the afternoon to evening in a shopping mall yesterday. I picked up Rin and bumped into Ezqobah, he invited me to the mall and meet up with Erna and Foo, along with afew other people that i did not know.

I was supposed to pick up Chilli and take her to another place, but decided to mix the two plans together- bring her along. Before i picked her up, i had an argument with Rin. It was over something quite foolish. But i apologized for my part, and she ignored that, so Chilli entered the car in an awkward silence. Rin changed her mind about going and wanted me to drop her home, which i did, and Chilli and I proceeded to the mall and met up with the others.

We had a drink, played some pool, chilled at a cafe, and had fun. Chilli didn't know anybody there so i'm not sure if she had fun. But i like these people. They are nice to be with, nice to laugh with. A few hours later, i got a text message from Rin who was apologizing. Didn't really know what to say or what took her so long, didn't reply either.

Well on the way back, Chilli gave me my birthday present. A CD with TWO songs on it, and a really nice necklace. She bought the CD based on the fact that i said i could read the japanese writing written on the cover. Since Chilli DO have access to this site, i'm going to have to say that i REALLY LOVED the CD. I love it so much that i'm having SO much TROUBLE deciding which SOng to play that i resort to flipping a MExican coin. (Don't kill me for this)

When i reached home, there was a druggie waiting for me to get out of my car to offer a $2 car wash. I decided to play along, and told him to come back on friday, since i doubt i'll be home on friday. But later i ended up worrying about what he might do to the car on other days. Regret.

Speaking of regret, Erna's been looking more and more troubled of late. I think the fact that she'll be leaving next week is really getting to her. Either that, or it might be something concerning a certain individual. But if it is something about that certain individual, she should be happy to be leaving the country.

Erna gave me my birthday present. A box of Condoms. At least it's more useful than a plastiCk Disk. (No Chilli, it's not what you think. Don't be so paranoid... i love your CD)

Erna's Coco, Foo!

Coco is an ex of mine. A really bright and cheery cute girl who is quite the opposite on the inside. (I have a history of getting into hopeless relationships. Relationships with no future, one that will be a big waste of time). Getting together with her was a bad idea to start with, she has a reputation for her stubborness. When i broke the news to Freyja and Serraph, they just laughed about it. They know what was going to happen. They were right.

Coco and I ended with me being the dumpee, and naturally, her being the dumper. But if she did not do what she had done, i would have done so. It was obvious that there was no future for us. The main reason being, i hadn't really gotten over the girl i said i wasn't really over with. (Later on will be talked about under the name of Atana). And secondly, her parents were extremely racist. They threatened to take her out of the country if she was seen (yes. seen. They didn't know we were dating, meaning she was not even ALLOWED to have a friend like myself) with me again. The second reason is mainly why i couldn't put my heart into it. I really wanted to though, to be nicer and more commited, but it was putting her future on the line, thus forcing me to make a horrible decision. She wasn't very effected by her parents' threats. What she didn't know was that it affected me. Badly.

It's over and done with now. During the course of my relationship with Coco, i was introduced to Erna and Foo.

Erna and I bonded when we got high on Indonesian ciggarrettes (hence, the name Erna) and apple juice. Then we opened up about each others' problems and realised that we've been through very similar things. "Seeing someone you really care for going the wrong direction in life. Worry about them all day and all night, but there's nothing you can do about it because they stopped listening, it's out of your hands."
A year later, we found ourselves talking about the same things, the same problems, the same people.

I've gotten alot closer to Erna and Foo within these past few days. Foo and I have a very similar sense of humour. It's the second day spent laughing untill my stomach cramped up and nearly exploded (felt like it..). The hottest topic to joke about is currently "Erna's cousin". She's not chubby, she's not fat, she's MASSIVE. I doubt anyone could resist cracking a joke or two once they've encountered....her cousin.

However, Erna is leaving the country next week. No one knows if she is ever coming back, I may never see her again.

A funny thing happened today, concerning Coco. Erna was telling us of the time Coco asked her if drinking coconuts (hence, the name... if you happen to be reading this one day, i apologise in advance i beg great mercy from thee) could increase her bust size.
I was there, Foo was there, so we took a break from Erna's cousin jokes. Couldn't miss such an opportunity. Especially when knowing that Coco is the kind of person who likes to show that she is proud of who she is, happy with herself, someone who would still love her third nipple if she has a third nipple.

Rin and Berries.

The passive individual that i'm currently seeing is Rin. Raspberry's a good friend of hers. Used to be anyway, the grew apart afew weeks ago and both got on each others' nerves and both decided to cut off from each other.

I know, friends' best friend is "off limits" but there's nothing going on between Raspberry and I. We had somewhat opened up to each other and because of that, Rin no longer plays a part between us. She used to be "Rin's best friend", but now we know each other enough for her to be "My friend". No one decides who should or not be my friend except for me.

Rin is so passive that it made me afraid of putting my heart into the relationship. She could be so ignorant on certain things that i need her to realise. I don't like it when she goes out to spend time with other guys who wants her to spend the night at his place. I don't like it when she's at some other guys' place all the way past midnight while realising the fact that he's been hitting on her the whole time ("Massaging shoulders" because "you seem tense"....sort of thing.) I don't like the way she even bothers about her annoying and troublesome "friends" who are idiots by pre-school standards and complain about them later. And the worse bit: she complains to me.
Rin has a friend who's too quiet, a friend who is known here as Raspberry, and a friend i want dead (For being extremely troublesome).

She normally blows things off and ends debate prematurely with a "Nevermind..." that sometimes i think cheating on her is the only way to get some sort of indication that there is a price tag on my forehead, and no one could afford it.
She doesn't get jealous about anything, no matter how many girls i'm surrounded by, no matter how much i flirt or even taking Dew out for the whole day. It's almost as if i'm single and available - free to do anything and anyone.

I discussed this problem with Raspberry the other day, and it is a problem that i must bring up to Rin one day.

Raspberry and Chilli

Raspberry and Chilli are two young girls that has plenty of problems, and even more stories to tell.
They are both nearly equal by age, about 2 to 3 years younger than myself, but the problems they face are for those 5 years older than me.
It's sad really. Whatever happened to the fun and carefree teenage life that everyone else seems to be entitled to?
In my opinion, Chilli's problems are more serious compared to Raspberys'. It involves the death of a family member, sneaky relatives and lawyers. However, the majority of Raspberrys' problems are psychological.

Although i can't solve their problems, i can however, try my best to provide them advises or guidance to help lessen their burden. If the mind could be a workplace, it can also be a playground.

Someone should keep an eye on them, cause i don't see anybody doing it.

Chillis' got a live journal account. We hardly ever meet up but we chat online and i check on her live journal every once in awhile to see how it's going. Funny how i'm talking about her and she has my blogspot address. She went off awhile ago, she won't read this until tomorrow or so. You don't mind me writing about it do you Chilli?
Raspberry don't know such a thing exists. (My blog account). She won't mind...... i hope.

Driving Ms. Dew

Started the day with some cd-burning and car cleaning. Watched my parents clean the fish pond sometime in between. Fishes grow so fast and so big, space is running out in that pond. So we eat them.

By late afternoon, i was on my way to meet up with Dew. It was strange, she looked so differnt. It's funny how i actually expected to see her looking as how she was when she left 2 years ago. She looked more european, older and spoke with an accent. I have to replay what she said in my head about twice to understand sometimes.

I am currently under the impression that people in the UK drive on highways like we drive in school areas. Driving her was worse than driving my mother.
1. Must have both hands on the steering wheel.
2. Must signal before changing lanes.
3. Must always have eyes on the road.
4. Must not get within 3 meters of the car in front.

1. I drive an auto (trying to change the gearbox to a manual). I'm used to having one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear. Now all i do with my left hand is switching it between "N" and "D". I drive at speed that is maneuverable with one hand.
2. Who signals to change lanes anyway? Only those who take 5 seconds or more to go from one lane to the other. I think i made it obvious enough to other drivers when i'm changing lanes. The only time i use the signal is in roundabouts - they need to know wether or not i'm going out of the circle. The ones who don't signal in roundabouts are troublesome and dangerous.
3. I'm still not over the fact i got a new cd-player. Still playing around with it, getting to know the new piece of equipment in the car. It's still beautiful. Sometimes i look at her, just teasing, cause the road was empty.
4. An exaggeration. I think she wanted me to stay about 2 meters behind the car ahead. Normally i'd drive up to 2/3 of a meter, or 3/4. But if she didn't shut up....1/4...

Went around and took her to the malls that opened up after she left. She's still the same, this time, it was me that had changed.

A girl, some nice music and dinner.

A friend came back from the UK and contacted me.
A new CD-Player for my car.
A now-family friend had dinner with us and lasted hours.

No, it wasn't a date.

It was about a girl who left the country 2 years ago. Someone i fell for but was a year too late. A whole year. I was in a new relationship when i should've made a move on her. But decided not to. For commitment or some shit like that. A year later, she was with another, and i was with no one. For a long time we kept in touch by emails, couldn't wait to see each other again and all, but i think about a week before she came here, she found someone. And i don't intend on getting in between that. I call her Dew.

I've finally managed to convince my father to get me a cd player for the car. Radio drives me nuts. The world is apparently hooked on hip hop and r&b, which seems to always be talking about sex, money and getting cheated on. A certain Serraph told me, "Your charisma can get you far, girls want to get to know you, guys obey your commands, but it has absolutely no effect at all on your father." And it's true. I had to use the crowd of family members (including first cousins) to get him onto the topic and out of the house - into the accessory shop. It's beautiful at night, sounds amazing and that's all i need.

A family conversation over dinner exploded into talks of plans for a future business empire. It's funny how they, at that age, they talk about business like i talk about videogames. I guess this is what they meant by "taking life easy". Sure, making money is important. Make the wrong moves and you'll suffer along with those you are responsible for. But trying too hard may not help at all. It's a challenge. It's all in the head. A game for everyone that anyone can join. Winning doesn't really end the game, but losing might.

Let the Blogging begin...

Blog.
Funny word isn't it.
Is it in the dictionary? I wonder what the definition is like.
It really doesn't sound like anything related to "journal".
Blog.
B-Log.

I'm a 19 year old individual who's in a family of 6 (second younngest I is) and is currently not very much over a girl i'm no longer dating. It's been years and it's still going.
Currently seeing a very passive individual that will one day get on my nerves.
A bad intro for a bad story.

NeoWakko