Messengers~

I have a rough idea of how the messengers of god felt when they were given the responsibility of preaching His words.

I feel a slight fear in that sense as i'm typing this.

Originally, i'm a muslim.
Islam, being the religion.

But it never agreed with my heart. Not even islamic school taught when my mind was an absorbent sponge of 5 years or so.

To start with, i am willing to take the leap of faith.
To sacrifice every beliefs of the religion in order to find the truth.
With a clean intention, i started my research.
All these questions began to emerge and the religion itself, from an external persepective, becomes more and more controversial.

there's too much to type.

I have made the jump. I can't really turn back now.

Islam, was meant to be a universal concept. (As it states in the Book)
Islam, is not a religion. It is a way of life.
It is a SYSTEM.

Currently, i believe that i'm on the right track to understanding this universal system.

Jews, christians, muslims the world over, they say they're right while the others are wrong. They can't all be right can they?
We all know their origins - prophets came, they followed. Prophets left, they change the system to benefit themselves.

Therefore, there's a great corruption that i can see within the religion/s.

It is no longer God's system, but a man made system.
The latter i refused to follow. Despite the fact that my parents and ancestors have all followed it.

See what sort of cliff i jumped off now?

To them, i'm worse than an infidel (still the funniest word to me...infidel)

Imagine telling your mother all this.
Debating about it to her.

And she thinks you're misguided and crazy.

My method is of pure intentions, and it is proven to be more universal.

now, my faith is being tested.
wanna know how the test goes?

my parents and i will get into a huge debate or argument.
Should i give in to their possible threats, then my faith loses its integrity.
In this sense, i feel more lonely than i've ever felt before.
No morale support, unless they see the same way i do.
Morale support from someone who doesn't believe in my cause defeats the purpose.

Is this what the messengers felt when they were told to change the religion of hundreds of people? People who were violent, brutal, stubborn....
I wonder if i have enough faith to hold onto should my life gets threatened by this.

Lucky me, i don't HAVE to change them. No one told me to.
I have so much respect for them right now.