Lotuses and Tapirs~

To start with, the title is not meaningless.
It's a very special individuals' flow of thought.
If compared to this entry however, yes it is meaningless.

I still get dreams of being ultimately helpless.
"Maybe i'm going crazy" have crossed my mind afew times.
Maybe I am.
Maybe the world is and i'm not instead.
Our definition of crazy itself is crazy.
What right do we have to say what is crazy and what isn't?

Weird and an outcast.
Strange and uncategorized.

I'm not very open i know. Even if i tried to open up.
I'm sure alot of people i'm really close to knows i haven't really opened up to them.
All but a forbidden friendship.

The first snow to fall on a flower is where two people met.
Always longing, always lonely.
Their dark life only blooms when they meet.
Thinking of the future, their ideal future.
Creating fantasies of happiness.
But that is only fantasy.
They know it's not possible.
They know it won't happen.
But even if, for a moment, they could take the weight of their world off their shoulders,
Risking the destruction of their own hearts,
It would be worth it.
Life would have a meaning then.
What little they shared is more beautiful than things most of us would ever experience.

どこ　が　わたし　の　しあわせ　です　か？
あなた　が　わたし　の　しあわせ。
でも、　どこ　が　あなた　です　か。。。？
わたし　に　あなた　を。

Ahem~

The entry below, doesn't mean jack.
The title says it all.

So.... uh.. ignore...it?
Too lazy to delete.

Under the influence~

If i was a donkey, will you ride me?
If i was a car, will you drive me?
How can one heart fall in two holes?
How can emotions take control?
Fuck mood swings. Fuck the world.

Set me free from these chains that binds me.
Binds me to the realm of reality.
Set me free from my own desires.
Set me free from your laws and rules.
Set me free from system, your world.
Set me free from your own people.

May my Angel forgive for what i've done in this world.

Deaths~

It's that feeling again.
That mood...
Sleepless night.
Random thoughts.
An inevitable problem that you can't see yet.

Dreams of being helpless.
Shortened temper.

I'm taking up to a minute to write each line.

Self expression... feeling the need to express myself.
Not the faintest idea how.
Next year will be a very lonely year.
I can't wait for the year after.

Greetings to all of you.
Thanks for reading up to here.
I'm still holding on.
I'm still all right.
Stay alive ya?
Alive and well.

みな しね~

The world, my world, the whole of my world, is constipated.
It could give me shit on a regular basis, but No, it would rather pile it all up and one day drop a bomb on me.

And as we know it, shit tends to stick together. When one thing falls out of place, the rest, sometimes irrelevant and has no relation whatsoever to the first, would as well, fall out of place.

The chain goes on and on and on. Until your whole world seems to be out of place.

Which somehow got me thinking about blogs, bloggers and the whole concept behind it.
Some want to blog, some need to, others feel the need to.
To let it out? To be heard?

One thing's for sure, happy people don't blog.

I'm not happy?
I don't think i am. Not lately. If i was happy, i won't be writing about it.


And so here we are, birds of different feather,
Jack of all trades, but master of none (master of one, for me)
Those who gather not to find similarities, but accept differences.
Curious people. Moving ahead and learning while at it.
We're grateful for each individual who understands our concept, and finds eat appealing to them.
An island in the ocean of fools.
An island in the society.

Or maybe it's just me who feels that way.

Visitors~

I hate it when people like to argue.
I hate it when you ask a question, and they try to force their answers on you.

You ask for an opinion, they give an OPINION. Then they belittle yours without proper reasons and give the whole, "if you don't see the greatness and completeness of my answer compared to the worm of yours, you're an idiot"

What do you say to people like that?
Seems like they've gone insane.
You can see that their mind is at a place you can't reach. Simply because it's too far away. So, why bother? You tried, you failed, you had nothing to lose, you lost nothing. (Wasted time though...)

To all you smart people out there. Wise and smart... c'mon, you know who you are.....
If you think you're under that category, then yes, i'm talking to you.

A big "Fuck you!" to all of ya. Like a famous chicken once said (you know, the one that crossed the road? Yea.. THAT chicken. The one colonel sanders couldn't get his hands on)
Anyway, the chicken, in his words, "Puck, puck, puck....PUCKER! MUTTER PUCKER!"

Only those who are wise would realise how little they know.

"Pathetic" is the word of the week.

Fuel~

Anger seems to be my only fuel.
I have nothing to write about ever since i stopped having things to be angry about.
I can tell from now that this entry will be short.

Very Short.

Discriminatin' R' Us~

That's the thing about being religous isn't it?
If you try too hard, and not make it there, you'll get stuck half way.
Getting stuck halfway is the position people become ignorant at.
I have respect for religous people for whatever religion they believe in.
It's the devotion and the commitment they're able give to something based on faith.

A certain Christian individual pissed me off to almost no end. Right in front of me, Foo and his girl.

So arrogant, so ignorant, so "religous".
Your religion has taught you so much, yet you learn so little.
You try too hard you've become blind.
Your excellent ways are they ways we don't do because we already know it doesn't work.
A child of 17.
A small child of 17.
If i hadn't known him better (and the fact that i was in his house, in his room) his ass would have been tied off the balcony. (i could get sadistic and make him lick my feet in front of his younger brother...)

My mind's a bluc.
I haven't been getting enough rest.

Fuck the world.