Fear of changes, fear of changes in the world, fear of changes of a person, fear of changes in a person.
I have no fear for changes.
But that might change.
Today will be cherished, today will be remembered. There's a chance tomorrow that today will be pointless.
Today, unlike any other days last year, i was happy. Today meaning yesterday since it's 17 minutes into a new day.
Tomorrow i will remember that today i was happy. Today i reached a level i fought to reach for years.
Ignorantly happy perhaps.
Fear for tomorrow.
Fear of fearing tomorrow.
Fearing fear itself.
About Me
- NeoWakko
- Words can help us grow, Like horse piss help trees. (Wonderfully btw)
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Monday, November 22, 2004
Bullet Time~
I'm sure most of you knows what bullet-time is.
Especially gamers.
I believe that bullet-time is a state of mind. It can be activated and deactivated at will. It is a skill, an ability.
It needs to be warmed up first though, and maintained.
Any of you exercise your bullet-time?
Doubt it.
I used to.
Fun while it lasted.
But years later (i.e NOW), i've slowed down. My panic point dropped afew units.
I blank out under pressure.
It was different before.
The more pressure i was under, the more my bullet-time was pushed.
I would be in control when others have blanked out.
I didn't call it bullet-time at that time though. The name came after a certain movie...
Today my bullet time failed me.
I allowed someone slip and fall off the stairs, which would be easy to stop before.
Not only that, i panicked, and grabbed A leg. Yes, just one leg, i was still holding that leg when the head was near the floor. Very retarded indeed.
I remember noticing that if something you care for is in the line of destruction, the better your bullet time will function.
So if a loved one was getting shot, can you see the bullet?
Especially gamers.
I believe that bullet-time is a state of mind. It can be activated and deactivated at will. It is a skill, an ability.
It needs to be warmed up first though, and maintained.
Any of you exercise your bullet-time?
Doubt it.
I used to.
Fun while it lasted.
But years later (i.e NOW), i've slowed down. My panic point dropped afew units.
I blank out under pressure.
It was different before.
The more pressure i was under, the more my bullet-time was pushed.
I would be in control when others have blanked out.
I didn't call it bullet-time at that time though. The name came after a certain movie...
Today my bullet time failed me.
I allowed someone slip and fall off the stairs, which would be easy to stop before.
Not only that, i panicked, and grabbed A leg. Yes, just one leg, i was still holding that leg when the head was near the floor. Very retarded indeed.
I remember noticing that if something you care for is in the line of destruction, the better your bullet time will function.
So if a loved one was getting shot, can you see the bullet?
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Emotions to words~
What goes on my blog hardly ever comes from my head.
My head's just a translator. The source is my emotions.
I noticed that whenever i sit here, in front of the computer, emotionless, there's hardly anything to write about.
Emotionless, but for so long? Compare the date between this entry and the previous.
An eventful week. Or weekend.
Eventful, but i won't write it here. I don't see any purpose or benefit from doing so.
A number of people says that i write funny. Or weird.
What exactly is funny or weird about my style of writing?
Maybe Shahriman can shed some light?
Awfulviolet as well?
I know i'm abit behind on putting up my pictures.
I blame only myself. No one else... and Foo as well, cause he said he'll upload the damn pics. So i blame myself and myself only, but you guys can blame him.
Just remembered something that aggravates rage.
Tied to a track,
A train of dissappointment is on its' way.
You loosen the ropes that binds you.
Both of them, approaching slowly.
Time, surprisingly, doesn't slow down.
You have all the time in the world.
But in reality, you're still tied up,
And the train is coming.
Each day will eat you away.
Each moment spent away distracting yourself.
From the reality that is,
You, tied on track.
Train, coming.
My head's just a translator. The source is my emotions.
I noticed that whenever i sit here, in front of the computer, emotionless, there's hardly anything to write about.
Emotionless, but for so long? Compare the date between this entry and the previous.
An eventful week. Or weekend.
Eventful, but i won't write it here. I don't see any purpose or benefit from doing so.
A number of people says that i write funny. Or weird.
What exactly is funny or weird about my style of writing?
Maybe Shahriman can shed some light?
Awfulviolet as well?
I know i'm abit behind on putting up my pictures.
I blame only myself. No one else... and Foo as well, cause he said he'll upload the damn pics. So i blame myself and myself only, but you guys can blame him.
Just remembered something that aggravates rage.
Tied to a track,
A train of dissappointment is on its' way.
You loosen the ropes that binds you.
Both of them, approaching slowly.
Time, surprisingly, doesn't slow down.
You have all the time in the world.
But in reality, you're still tied up,
And the train is coming.
Each day will eat you away.
Each moment spent away distracting yourself.
From the reality that is,
You, tied on track.
Train, coming.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Revolving~
So much time has passed, and in a way, i still seem to end up in the same position.
I do the same mistakes, react the same way.
I've walked a great distance to change, taking the same change of direction that took me around a big circle.
Tonight, i'm back where i started since the last time i felt like this.
Today, the best description of me can be found in a song.
"Letters" by Utada Hikaru.
Letters describes both me and my other self. The song, the music, the emotions. Not the lyrics. I think the concept of "words being cheap" plays a bigger role in me than i expected.
The days drive me to proceed with life, to move on, to be better. But in the end, the sun will set and the night sky and all under it would be humbled by the beauty of the moon. Humbled me to realise my position, where i stand.
Humbled to bring out emotions i hid behind the cover of sunlight. Emotions and thoughts that could easily pierce through my heart and mind.
But the night leaves me exposed to all. Without ilusional barriers to hide behind.
Hidden questions began to surface. Questions which tease my curiosity. Curiosity which would eventually drive me to find the answers.
Although i've walked a circle, i have grown since i was last back in this position.
I do the same mistakes, react the same way.
I've walked a great distance to change, taking the same change of direction that took me around a big circle.
Tonight, i'm back where i started since the last time i felt like this.
Today, the best description of me can be found in a song.
"Letters" by Utada Hikaru.
Letters describes both me and my other self. The song, the music, the emotions. Not the lyrics. I think the concept of "words being cheap" plays a bigger role in me than i expected.
The days drive me to proceed with life, to move on, to be better. But in the end, the sun will set and the night sky and all under it would be humbled by the beauty of the moon. Humbled me to realise my position, where i stand.
Humbled to bring out emotions i hid behind the cover of sunlight. Emotions and thoughts that could easily pierce through my heart and mind.
But the night leaves me exposed to all. Without ilusional barriers to hide behind.
Hidden questions began to surface. Questions which tease my curiosity. Curiosity which would eventually drive me to find the answers.
Although i've walked a circle, i have grown since i was last back in this position.
Monday, November 08, 2004
The Void Again~
I've spent the last 2 years trying to create the right ambience, atmosphere to life. Which, recently, i've realised that i managed to do so.
Two years of work. I spent two years thinking about it, wishing i had it, hoping that it would last.
What i've created is about to come to an end.
Without realising it, it was there. Soon after, it's going away.
This is one topic i would not go into details with, for doing so may upset the very few.....or not.
Surges of emotions of disappointments with a hint of betrayal.
"Lose what you create" can make no one comfortable.
Work on a project, complete it, destroy it, start over.
Life itself goes on no matter what.
Cursed to cry in a different language.
Doomed to walk the aftermath.
Friends of pleasure, seeked by sorrow.
An invisible book thay lay wide open.
Two years of work. I spent two years thinking about it, wishing i had it, hoping that it would last.
What i've created is about to come to an end.
Without realising it, it was there. Soon after, it's going away.
This is one topic i would not go into details with, for doing so may upset the very few.....or not.
Surges of emotions of disappointments with a hint of betrayal.
"Lose what you create" can make no one comfortable.
Work on a project, complete it, destroy it, start over.
Life itself goes on no matter what.
Cursed to cry in a different language.
Doomed to walk the aftermath.
Friends of pleasure, seeked by sorrow.
An invisible book thay lay wide open.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
New Mail~
My new email address.
It friggin rocks man.
neowakko@hellokitty.com
For real.
That's it.
No updates.
No idea for an update.
It friggin rocks man.
neowakko@hellokitty.com
For real.
That's it.
No updates.
No idea for an update.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Announcement~
Since more and more people are having access to my blog,
I think i'll open it up abit more.
I'll start with having a picture of me.
It's a big step for me in blogging.
I've never done that before.
Never thought i would.
20 days and counting.
I think i'll open it up abit more.
I'll start with having a picture of me.
It's a big step for me in blogging.
I've never done that before.
Never thought i would.
20 days and counting.
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