Scarred~

I have no idea how it happend or when it happened. But i have a phobia of loneliness.
Realized it today. A phobia. Traumatized by something my mind blocked out.
It plays with my emotions, mood and mind.

Yearning to be understood.
Maybe i am placing my expectations too high.

Confused.

I hate being confused.
I hate losing my grounds, and confusion takes away my grounds.

I accept that my mind is far more complex than i thought.
It plays tricks on me.
Making it seem unnderstood at one moment.
And becoming a total stranger to me in another.

Confusion makes me vulnerable.
In that sense, it's my weakness. One of them anyway.

Tune to Metro by SOAD
"I remember searching for the perfect one
I hope you always fill my eyes.
I remember the night we drive along the sands
Running out of petroooooool...."

Damn. Mood swings... something's on the back of my head...
Inching forward with spikes and needles.
I.....must......let it out...

Tune to "Negaraku"

Singapuraaa
Dulu tanah Malaysia
Tapi sudaaaah
Bagi orang cinaaaa


Suddenly i feel like a hypocrite.
Let's ignore this entry, although i'm gonna post it up anyway.

Oh wait. something else in the back of my head.

Coming....
Coming....

Once, there was a little kitten named Pine who likes to eat fish.
Everyone kicks it around.
But it picked itself back up each time and continue eating fishes.
One day, someone put him in a cardboard box and tied it up with metal chains and threw him into the river.
Pine died by drowning. And that's how he stopped eating fishes.

But "No!" said the god of fishes.
"You will not die a horrible death little kitty. Your future is so so so bright. You will lead the cat-kind into becoming rulers of the earth! i REFUSE to allow you to die in my waters"
So the fish-god waved his fins and wiggled its tail. three times clockwise and 5 times the other way and..
..
..
nothing happened. Cause there's no such thing as a fish god.

Pass this on to 30 people in less than an hour or you will wake up in the middle of the night lying down next to Nicole Kidman on your left, and Kylie on your right.....and never get a chance to get that chick you're getting soooo close to getting in class.