A trap I fell in~

What have I been doing all this time?
Unnatural.
I can't believe how far i've deviated from my former self.
Why am i so distracted?

I need to focus.
I need to be able to focus.

Thanks man.
My envy of your progress had always been what kept me going.
I guess after all this time i still can't escape or surpass it.

As much as i hate it, you saved me yet again.

Bu

A clock that doesn't tick~

Time flows continuously.
Never hesitating, never gasping for air.
It waits for none, it moves when you are not ready.
It moves when all is still.
It flows even when it's stagnant.
It waits for none but me.

I stopped growing up a while ago.
I still grow old, just not up.
Up is the direction to go it seems.

Throughout my life, it seems that i hardly ever get what i want,
But i do however get what i ask for.
I know this, for a fact. I thought it stopped happening years ago but it apparently still goes on.

Why can't I reconcile the two anyway?
Between what i want and what i ask for?

I've been granted infinite wishes to use as i please, and the only things that could come out of my mouth are things like, "a reality check", "a slap in the face", "troubles for experience".
Why can't i ask for something more useful?

It seems that i can't kick the habit of choosing the rougher road, altho i've grown weaker to pull myself through them.

My will is not as how it was.

It does clear the air up a bit tho.
Like beer goggles, but not as fun.

I wish i could feel the natural feelings again.
Movements of air, flows of water...
Everything's restricted now by the mind.
"Needs to be processed before accepted"
The way I feel things nowadays is so...digital.