Well hello there~

I guess i'm at a point in life where my immediate actions will decide the rest of it.
Problem is, i can't tell if i'm doing what i want, or doing what others want of me and me wanting to do that for them.

I've lost myself recently. Not completely though, just enough to make it interesting.
In a bad way.

This quest of rediscovering myself raised plenty of questions and realisations. I doubt anyone can truly say what they want while believing it completely.

We seem to be driven by numbers, in a sense that humanity seems to be a system that functions as a whole. No one really points it out, since it is a point so obvious that the subconscious do not even see a point in pointing it out.

Well the obvious point here is that our minds are all linked, and at the moment, do not seem to be able to function independently as an individual.

Our likes and dislikes, hobbies and interests- they're all things that we find we need to have at least one other person to agree with less we find ourselves strange. Cultures and sub-cultures, beliefs and religions, normal and abnormal.

If there were no goths/emo/punk in this world, what would they do to be different? Start playing golf? Some of them chose that way of life, to be different. But different from whom exactly? It doesn't seem to be different, special and/or unique in anyway it seems. They do not seem to want to be different, they just want to be out of the majority or norm. Hence one would go to a sub-culture supermarket and just pick a new lifestyle.

The point is that joining a sub-culture does not make one unique. It is simply an act of refusing to conform to the majority by conforming to the minority.

The only decent reason i believe for one to make such a convertion, is simply for the fun of it.

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What was the point of all this........

Ah yes, how do we find out what we really want.

1. I like whisky. I like drinkin it straight, or mixed with water. Just plain water. I don't like mixing it with flavoured water because i actually like the taste of it. Mixing it with water stretches the glass i guess its better for health.

Other ways:
- Drinking it with coke.
- Drinking it with ice.
However, adding water dilutes it, which is wrong. But somehow it's okay if it's Coke.

I'm sure that there are others who can enjoy drinking it with just plain water. Give it a try. If you do, what would those around you say?

Why is it that drinking it with coke or ice is okay, but people would disagree to a point of even giving you a short lecture on why you shouldn't drink it with water? (Using the reason that it dilutes the goods)

Society finds it in their right to actually tell you what you want/should/shouldn't do at a level far beyond your realisation. It's a part of humanity. But right now, all i want is some time off. I mean, come on.............gimme a break. Gimme some space to find out what i like, and how i like doing it. I'm stubborn i know, which makes me more sensitive to being told what to do/think. It's suffocating!

Shit. Even I myself think my entries are getting as dull as haze.