Extra Smooth~

I'm gonna lean back on my chair and do this with one hand.
I'm gonna do this with the purpose of testing how well i can focus.
It has come to my attention that i'm losing the control i have over my own mind.
It tends to blur out when i'm thinking too hard.
It used to be able to keep me up at nights...
...now it just puts me to sleep.

Fuck it. Both hands.

Let's start with a story. We havent had stories here in awhile no?

Once upon a time, in a faraway place, a place far from most of you at least, there was a young man who, has a rather peculiar ability. An ability that is far greater than any machines and more dangerous than any weapon. It is as sturdy as a river-splitting boulder, but also as sensitive as a fat woman. This incredibly strange ability was one that he called "boredom".
A double-edged sword it is, the greatest achievement could come from it, but it also eats the user inside out. He once saved a local village girl from bad people by boring them to death. Yes.....to DEATH!
"A misterious death indeed..." says one coroner...
"How can you tell, master?" asks the young padawan.
"Well you see here, if you study each body from head to toe, you will find no trace of any damage whatsoever. Untouched. But, my young padawan, if you would take note of the slimy goo that comes out of the ears and noses..."
"Poison?!" the young padawan reaches over for the poison-check tool.
The master held up one hand, gently, motioning the padawan to stop, yet still keep his cool, "Nay, young knave, for it is not poison, but brains. Mushy, mushy, mushy brains."
Both men sat in silence, wondering of the unimaginable pain, and suffering that these young, dead individuals had gone through...
"So what of the paperwork, master"? Motioned the young padawan.
The greater of the two picked up a pen, and scribbled on the paper:

Cause of death: Boredom. Intense, unimaginable boredom.