Nightlife~

Earlier tonight i heard a group of dogs barking like mad outside.
Moderately raining but we were hungry.
We went to check it out and found that they were attacking a mother cat that had recently birthed 4 kittens.

We ran out to it and chased the dogs away.
The cat couldn't walk. It just lay there on the wet road, trying to hiss at us.
We found some styrofoam that we could use to carry the cat on.
Struggled to get the cat to understand that we were trying to save her.
Managed to get it on and began carrying her to her kittens.
Wrapped it up in a blanket too. It's a cold night.

I don't know if the cat eventually managed to understand what we were doing.
It was hissing at us most of the time.
I don't think it's a good thing, to be able to relate the cat's inability to trust anything or anyone.
I think i'm starting to understand our purpose in this world.

I hope mother cat is all right. Altho i don't think she can survive the night.
I hope the kittens will be all right.

I'm so angry at the situation but i understand that nothing can be blamed.
Blame the dogs? It's like getting angry at fishes for swimming.
There's nothing to blame here. It's just how the world works.
Reality can be a pretty depressing pill to swallow.

Mother cat still has kittens.

I'm gonna check up on them.

Feel~

Strange. When did i get used to suppressing emotions?
I don't think i let anyone see what i feel anymore.
I can't seem to trace back when or why it started.
Not even how i got pretty damn good at it.

What bugs me is how i think it's beginning to bother me.
Maybe i'm missing out on something here.

The Village~

He wakes early in the morning and began to perform his duties.
Circling the village he observes the defensive walls that protects the villagers.
Villagers greet him as he walks by, and each of them he knew by name.

The village chief. Entrusted to guide the village grow larger but also to ensure the villagers are safely protected from the threats of the world. He greets the baker, the farmer, the young couple, the child and he oversees the construction of defensive walls.

The walls were the first line of defenses for the village. It was tradition to add another layer after every breach. Upon closer inspection, one would be able to see the different layers that had been built over time. He knew the reason behind most of it. Some layers were thinner than average, which implicates a minor breach had occur. Some were much thicker, and the chances are that every single villager remembers why those were built.

He gazed at the earlier layers of the wall, and observed the first layer of considerable thickness.
This was the layer that started it all. he thought to himself. It was the first time the village faced the possibility of complete destruction.

The first betrayal. Destroyer of hope. This wall was built so menacingly back then to send a message to anyone on the outside that they will not be welcomed. The threat from friendly and familiar shadows are any time more dangerous than a large frontal assault.

It was many years later that another layer was added. Strong, sturdy yet friendlier.

He paced a few years into the present and observes the construction of the current layer. It took the villagers more than a year to build, so naturally this was the thickest of all.

He began to consider his idea carefully before announcing it to them, because the idea he as in his head will most definitely not sit well with the others. He knew them so well that he could have this discussion with them, but in his head.

"I wish associate our village with a particular one in the east." he would say.
"When?" they would ask.
"Soon."

"It is too soon to decide such, chief."
"Too risky"
"What if they do not mean well?"
"We are still recovering from the previous incident"

"We act now. The village must be protected from worldly threats, but it must also learn to grow."

Our walls have told me that we have been looking strong yet live in fear for too long.

The Star, 9 September 09~

A KINDERGARTEN teacher who took her feverish pet squirrel to the veterinary clinic had her breasts allegedly groped by the veterinarian instead, reported Harian Metro.

According to the daily, the veterinarian had asked the 27-year old woman to place the squirrel inside her blouse to keep it warm given its “erratic body temperature”.

However, the squirrel got stuck on her bra strap when the 52-year-old veterinarian asked her to take the animal out.

The veterinarian, the report said, saw the woman’s breasts while helping her remove the squirrel and started praising her figure.

He then allegedly told the victim to take care of her body and “beautiful breasts”.

Ampang OCPD Asst Comm Abd Jalil Hasan said the veterinarian then began to demonstrate to her how to massage her breasts.

“He then took advantage by groping and sucking the victim’s breasts. The victim struggled to release herself before the doctor finally let her go,” he told the daily.

“He told her she need not pay for the squirrel’s treatment and asked her to come again. But she decided to lodge a police report,” ACP Abd Jalil Hasan told the daily, adding that the veterinarian was arrested on Monday.

The squirrel died shortly after returning home.


-It's an actual news report.

I love the structure~

A furniture salesman decided that he wanted to expand the
line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris,
France to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris
(this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he
met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that
he thought would sell well back home in the States.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small
bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine,
he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that
the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in
the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his
table, asked him something in French (which he did not
understand), and motioned toward the chair. He invited her to
sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did
not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying
to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture
of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he
ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took
another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it,
and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe
that featured a small group playing romantic music. They
ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a
picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to
dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was
packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a
picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, he has no idea how
she figured out he was in the furniture business.


-some online joke- 

The month of reflection~

It's that time of the year again.
More like halfway through it actually.
That month. Some say it's divine or sacred.
Most call it a nuisance.

The point of things set long ago tend to get irrelevant or forgotten over time.
But let's have some faith in the wisdom of the ancients shall we?

What is the purpose of the month?
Surely it's more than just to abstain from food and water.
I believe it's the month of patience.

Taking shit and not passing it on.

Instead, you keep it in and let it fester. Let it eat you up from the inside-out.
Then comes the self reflection.

What was it that got on your nerves? Why did it get on your nerves?
What made you lose your temper?

Most of the answers can be traced back to ego i'm afraid. Which is what i believe the month is for. Filtering the ego out with patience.

Ego's like a fucking drug. Feels good to get a kick out of it, feels bad to get it out of your system.
It's a drug that's so easy to get hooked on. Much easier than lighting up a smoke. Some people really do believe they need it whereas some don't even truly understand what it is.

We are not special. We were born special, but i think it ran out when we were around the age of reason. We don't need to be special. We just need to function and function damn well.

Ego hides the holder from the truth. It breeds destructive ignorance. Your loved ones watch you burn out as they suffer in silence. You are untouchable, you are beyond help and you are proud of it.

Well anyways, i think people abstain from food and drink for a dumb reason because everyone seems to abstain from food and drink for a dumb reason. If everyone does it, i guess that makes it okay.

Early days~

I was running some errands and decided to make a turn to visit an old place.
Things looked very different, but i still managed to get a slight feel off it.
A lot of things that i had to deal with later in life began from there, that chapter.

It was meant to be forgotten, but i guess i did not.
It was written in a book before, and i ripped the entire chapter out and burnt them.

I guess i really had no reason to be there, but just to feel how it began. I couldn't even locate the right place, but there were plenty of familiar landmarks.

I drove past the girl's school, it was the first of many landmarks that used to guide me there.
I drove past the hawker stalls, where what i thought was the end started to begin.

I couldn't find the location. Maybe it was taken down, or i was lost.

A part of me wants to go back there. It means a lot to me in a way that i never knew possible.

Some scars really take some time to heal, even when it's just a hairline.

Change~

I've been back at home for a few weeks now.

Entered a new phase in life.

This blog will begin receiving frequent updates soon.

My words~

I used to be able to speak to the subconscious of people.

Too much control over a person.

Got rid of it.

I regret it when I feel insecure.

Before they part~

The old man lay on his deathbed.
Old age has made it difficult for him to move.
His mind was constantly in the past, for there was nothing in the future to look forward to.
His eyes had almost completely glazed over.

Be careful of these few things he said.
Problems can be solved.
Mistakes can be corrected.


Be careful of what you destroy.
Destruction sets it in stone.
Be very careful of what you set in stone.


And with that off his chest, he shuts his eyes for the last time.
Wondering why his happier thoughts were not his last.

Thinkers~

I don't know the cause or reason. It doesn't seem fair.

You have on one hand, one who thinks too much, and on the other, one who thinks very little.

Theres is no reason to why. Neither of them had a choice. If you are a thoughtless, there's not much you can do about it. If you are a thoughtful that is all you can do.

I think i've been on both ends of this spectrum. I will no longer judge the blank canvas of another.

Age~

I'm an adult now.
I'm responsible for managing my own finances, taking care of my own well-being.
I am for my own health. I am responsible of committing to my own bedtime.
I choose the food to eat, and when to eat it.

I realised the true meaning of this earlier today when i walked through the supermarket, and utilizing the extent of my own free will, desire and freedom, treated myself to a bag of dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, knowing full well that no one could ever stop me.

I am unstoppable.
I am a Dinosaur.

Thought~

Nothing is real except for the hearts of loved ones.