NeoWakko in Bristol¬

Wow.
I finally got my ass to write up another entry.
Guilt and pondering.

I am in the uk.
I think i left quite a bit of a mess back home.
Unsettled business.

I admit it wasn't the best of all ways to settle a problem.
A problem settled in silence.
I couldn't tell what i wanted to say,
but i could tell what i didn't, by not saying it.
Its immaturity and whatnots that didn't give me a better solution.

I think i'm playing it too safe here.
Where's the thrill in life when nothing seems to be new?
When you know about everything that is likely to happen?
When there's nothing to lose...

Hell, i am still young, still far from the unconditional responsibilities, still able to learn from my mistakes- intentionally or not.

A knife, if not sharpened, will be blunt.
As blunt as my unsharpened mind.

i'm not homesick yet.
Not too sure what to be homesick about.
It's been a month.
Maybe i will be one day.
After a year or so.

I'm having problems writing.
I think it's cause i can't be honest to myself anymore.
I can't exactly write what i feel, cause i don't know what i'm feeling on most things.

Sad.
Maybe i've been lying to myself all this while.
Maybe i've been getting better at fooling myself.
On what? that, i really don't know.
Just a theory.

A theory based on the fact that i can't dig deep into my mind and emotions, to write what is in them with clarity and much honesty.
To write out the picture i see true to its original essence.

I wanted to take my heart out and place it on your screen for you to see.
But i guess i can't even do that anymore.
I can't draw a painting painted in my mind because my fingers wouldn't move as accurately, my paintbrush turned stiff from not being utilised for too long.
Therefore, fellow readers, i need more time to soften the joints, loosen the muscles, see through myself with much more clarity.

NeoWakko in Bristol¬
Nothing exciting here so far.