NeoWakko~

You're irrational as always.
Its always about wants, but never needs.
"Needs can wait.
There's still time to have wants."

It does not work that way anymore.
You're right, i have aged.
I will continue to do so.
Maybe one day you will too.

We have grown our separate ways.
We have conflicting ideals.
Huraira had chosen mine over yours.
There is nothing more to argue about.

NeoWakko the never-changing.
It is time you do.

Layodante~

You've overstayed your welcome. You've aged.
You've turned down a bottle of flame for a bottle of water.
We rot inside with you.
We've finally grown apart.
Your ideals are no longer tolerable.
They used to be.
They used to be needed.
You managed us, shaped us, not constrict us.
Now you're a leash around our throats,
and chains around our wrists.
If it were possible to put you away, i would.
So what now you wonder?
Now i silence you.

Broken~

"It seems that, when a man finds the right woman,
he can suffer through anything.
Lose her and he will suffer in everything"

-Layodante

I've been Tagged¬

Aite, i've been tagged by the majestic and bitchy AwfulViolet.
So this means seriousness maximus.

RULES: People who are tagged should write a blog post of 6 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog...

Boo ya. Can't think of anyone yet. But i know afew noobs who've never heard of tagging before. i'mmagonnatagem.

1. Shit. You ate raw onions like apples? DAMN that's freaky! I thought onions could kill me! Anyway, i'm a last minsute person. Seriously last minute person. If my assignment's due tommorrow, i'd get drunk tonight and worry about it tomorrow. The kind of assignment that requires 1 or 2 months in advance to work on. So far, i've done em all in 24 hours. Thank gawd i'm so gawddamn smart.

2. I wake up in the morning, go to my housemate's room, let out a big-ass fart to wake him up. Then i'll just sit there and wait to see if he wakes up. If he wakes up, he'll respond with a fart. If i've got any left over, i'll beat that one. It's the unwritten rule that whoever gets the last fart wins.

3. I'm a sucka to kinkiness. Anything's hot shit. ANYTHING.

4. I piss in the shower. (Yea... all guys do.. just don't let my female housemates find out.)

5. I go crazy when i sleep with a fever. Seriously. Dead serious. I get insane dreams that wakes me up and make me bang my head on the floor to get it out of my head.

6. I don't give a damn about alot of things. If you have a dick, i don't give a damn about you.

DONE! time to tag!
I would like to thank you all for being such loyal fans to my work. I'd like to thank gawd an all... his commies and such...
yea... tagging.... shit... I'd like to tag the lovely Avra Kaige of wordpress!! SurrealismX me brother and... the sweet sweet Gingermilk. Thankyas!

Timekiller~

In the concept of perspectives.
Its very essence.
The concept of its existence.
The concept of its essence,
the essence of its concept.

Play with me it said.
It is the reason of my being.
To be played with.
I am everything.
I am nothing.
I can't be right yet i can't be wrong.
I think i'm always right but i think i think i'm thinking i'm always right when i could be wrong.
I am in an invisible area for all to see.
I am on top of what everything is over.
Almighty yet powerless.
I am not the past nor future.
But the present.
Play with me.

You lost me at "It".
There's alot of things in this world i'd like to play with.
Most of them out of curiosity, most followed by regrets.
Many regrets.
But i'd say they're all educational.
It teaches me things i could put to good use in the future.
That would eliminate the regrettable part.
All of a sudden, nothing seems a waste of time,
my mistakes became my advantage.
It filled up my library of knowldge,
adds layers to my defenses,
sharpens my blades and boosts my cannons.
But i don't get what you were talking about.
Like I said, you lost me at "It".

That's an excellent start, child.
You would do well.

Wait.... wattheflyinfuck?

The Sun~

Mommy, tell me again about the days of old..

What would you like to hear about my dear?

I want to hear the stories about the things that grow, the things that fly, like tiny birds you said. Have you ever seen one?

Yes, when i was a very little girl. Even smaller than you now.

You were smaller than me mommy?

A very long time ago my baby, in the times even before the great darkness.

Tell me...again, about the sun...what was it really like mommy?

That was gone long before me my dear. Before the end of the growing ones, before the end of the flying ones, even before the end of the tiny ones.

Bedtime stories.

Sequee Deed~

Everyone in this life likes to think of themself as someone that is special. Someone has something within them that sets them apart from the rest. But in actual fact, what is the benchmark that you use to consider yourself superior than others?

Opinions. Your own or those of others. Knowledge accumulated since one learnt to walk and talk. But there should be no benchmark for considering oneself more superior. In the topic of self development, superiority is irrelevant.

Even in self development, there comes a point where you see someone else who is leading a more extraordinary life and achieving more in their life. By noticing that difference, doesn't it already form superiority?

Great things normally come at a great price. The cost of their extraordinary achievement could be unbearable to most of others.

What do you look for in a person...

Stability in emotions and character, responsible, understanding, loving!

I'm looking for Nana..

Typical guy. Have you ever thought that it's better not to know the truth, especially the reality of something that you've dreamed up and fantasized about? Because the reality of it may just be so dissapointing.

Its in the back of every guys' head. Everytime they consider approaching a girl, every time they decide to hit on someone, every moment before they decide to make a move. It's not easy. Males have to do the "courting" an stuff. Females don't. The pressure's on the guy. Nature. Yeay.

Ah, getting sexist are we? Have you considered, what if no guy goes after the girl? Then what?

Then the girl would be single. So would the guy. Humanity would end. But you know, feminism and whatnots, equal rights nyadda nyadda, why don't girls make the first moves? besides shyness, which is, these days, obsolete.

Since when has shyness become obsolete? Probably because of the way our minds have been stereotyped. If a girl goes after a guy, she could be perceived as things other than being bold. It takes more courage for a girl to approach a guy than a guy to approach a girl. The possible rejection that she faces is also much worse.

Boldness in a woman is a trait few men can appreciate. But i think, for the sake of security, bold women who find the men who could appreciate them are luckier than most. Some guys don't want a girl for them to babysit.

Perceived as things other than being bold. If she's perceived as bold, good for her. What if she's perceived as being skanky?

I think, that unlike most other girls, you know what you want, you are aware of your desires and how to get them. But, you can't be bold about it, you perceive the way others perceive your boldness as a possible "skankiness" or being "cheap". But in the end, whatever you get from your boldness is all yours to keep, and you will be known as someone whose desires should be respected. Bold people tend to make those who go against them regret their actions, and get their decisions respected/honoured.

True. But what if you don't get whatever it is that you wanted from being bold?

If failure intimidates you, then your boldness wasn't genuine.

Not every outcome is in your hands.

Echo~

There's something about the look in your eyes
Something I noticed when the light was just right
It reminded me twice that I was alive
And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight

My biggest fear will be the rescue of me
Strange how it turns out that way, yeah

Could you show me dear... Something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting
Could you show me dear... Something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting

Theres something about the way you move
I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing
More subtle than something someone contrives
Your movements echo that I have seen the real thing

Your biggest fear will be the rescue of you
Strange how it turns out that way, yeah

Could you show me dear... Something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting
Could you show me dear... Something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting

Fluffs~

"I've heard of your kind before"
I smiled and gave a nod.
"It's just so rare to see one"
He stood his ground although he was being pulled away.
"Greetings, my name is Aleste"
"Hello Aleste"

"Oh i'm so sorry! i think my dog likes you! His name is Bob"
"....and Bob is my other name..." said the dog, without even a hint of embarassment.
Won't be surprised if he's used to it.
"What about Aleste ma'am? Why not call your dog that?"
"Why Aleste?"
"Because that is his name" I said and smiled to loosen up the tension from her confusion.
"Well...okay..."
"No wonder the babies around here are smiling in their prams. I've heard many tales of how the young ones can never resist the winged humans"
The young woman looked at me, with doubt in her eyes, "he's talking to you isn't he?"
"Sorry ma'am, you must be nuts."

A trip to the sea~

And so a cat crept through the bushes towards the sea.
He sniffed around and picked up its ears to make sure no one was around. Eyes don't work much under poor moonlight.
He tested the grounds-

not too hard, not too soft.
He sat dow and gently wrapped his tail around his body.

"Chilly tonight, isn't it?" asks the owl that floated down next to him.
"I can't imagine how you could do it, owl".

The owl just gave a knowing look, she had no choice, she's used to flying in the cold. Cozy is hardly a part of her dictionary.

"The dirty air doesn't make it any better" said she.

"I feel for all the fishes that lives in that sea." said the cat.

"Sympathy for another? we have quite abit in common" replied owl.

"The water, it is so dark, even during the day..."

"Human buildings spew it out every day"

"It is disgusting..."

"It is somewhat comforting, to know that there are creatures inferior to us". The owl perk up and looked beyond the horizon, "this sea is proof that they do not deserve any land to set foot on. This sea is our symbol of superior wisdom and of the downfall of man"

The cat gently leaned forward, and rested on his front paws.
"I see it differently though, in my heart i wish to save thos fishes, clean the sea, but i am just a cat."

"Why do you bother, cat? You've tried your best yet death and destruction still roam here"

"Why, wise owl, we sit here every night and each night you have much to say about this sea, yet you have never tried to do anything"

"I enjoy our conversation, but you must see that we should waste no more time trying to make the others understand."

"Why they associated you with wisdom, i may never understand, owl."

"knowledge, my dear cat. To be honest with you, i haven't a clue what wisdom is truly all about."

"And that, i know. Which is why our opinions may never come eye to eye. I speak in the hope of pointing out the failure of others so they could better themselves, but you speak only of the failure of others to feel better yourself"

"Where did you hear that from?"

"My mind, dear owl. I do not speak from the mind of others, i do not berate others to feel better, and that is what seperates us. You and I, and the sea of human failure."

Had a dream~

About you.
About loving you.

You who do not love me.
Whom i don't think will ever read this.
But of all people, why you?

I hardly think of you, and yet, you appeared in my dreams.
You created my world and my emotions as you saw fit.
You moved and manipulated my heart, with your innocence.

A spacious city on a beautiful day,
The toxicating candy that we ate,
We lost our minds and sense of logic,
We were vulnerable, so vulnerable,
and you disappeared

In my dream i walked for 2 days to look for you.
Worried. So worried.
I carried my intoxicated self a great distance for your sake.
Why am i writing all this...

No one who reads this knows who you are.
And you will never find out.

Love and lost in one night.
NeoWakko

Extra Smooth~

I'm gonna lean back on my chair and do this with one hand.
I'm gonna do this with the purpose of testing how well i can focus.
It has come to my attention that i'm losing the control i have over my own mind.
It tends to blur out when i'm thinking too hard.
It used to be able to keep me up at nights...
...now it just puts me to sleep.

Fuck it. Both hands.

Let's start with a story. We havent had stories here in awhile no?

Once upon a time, in a faraway place, a place far from most of you at least, there was a young man who, has a rather peculiar ability. An ability that is far greater than any machines and more dangerous than any weapon. It is as sturdy as a river-splitting boulder, but also as sensitive as a fat woman. This incredibly strange ability was one that he called "boredom".
A double-edged sword it is, the greatest achievement could come from it, but it also eats the user inside out. He once saved a local village girl from bad people by boring them to death. Yes.....to DEATH!
"A misterious death indeed..." says one coroner...
"How can you tell, master?" asks the young padawan.
"Well you see here, if you study each body from head to toe, you will find no trace of any damage whatsoever. Untouched. But, my young padawan, if you would take note of the slimy goo that comes out of the ears and noses..."
"Poison?!" the young padawan reaches over for the poison-check tool.
The master held up one hand, gently, motioning the padawan to stop, yet still keep his cool, "Nay, young knave, for it is not poison, but brains. Mushy, mushy, mushy brains."
Both men sat in silence, wondering of the unimaginable pain, and suffering that these young, dead individuals had gone through...
"So what of the paperwork, master"? Motioned the young padawan.
The greater of the two picked up a pen, and scribbled on the paper:

Cause of death: Boredom. Intense, unimaginable boredom.

NeoWakko in Bristol¬

Wow.
I finally got my ass to write up another entry.
Guilt and pondering.

I am in the uk.
I think i left quite a bit of a mess back home.
Unsettled business.

I admit it wasn't the best of all ways to settle a problem.
A problem settled in silence.
I couldn't tell what i wanted to say,
but i could tell what i didn't, by not saying it.
Its immaturity and whatnots that didn't give me a better solution.

I think i'm playing it too safe here.
Where's the thrill in life when nothing seems to be new?
When you know about everything that is likely to happen?
When there's nothing to lose...

Hell, i am still young, still far from the unconditional responsibilities, still able to learn from my mistakes- intentionally or not.

A knife, if not sharpened, will be blunt.
As blunt as my unsharpened mind.

i'm not homesick yet.
Not too sure what to be homesick about.
It's been a month.
Maybe i will be one day.
After a year or so.

I'm having problems writing.
I think it's cause i can't be honest to myself anymore.
I can't exactly write what i feel, cause i don't know what i'm feeling on most things.

Sad.
Maybe i've been lying to myself all this while.
Maybe i've been getting better at fooling myself.
On what? that, i really don't know.
Just a theory.

A theory based on the fact that i can't dig deep into my mind and emotions, to write what is in them with clarity and much honesty.
To write out the picture i see true to its original essence.

I wanted to take my heart out and place it on your screen for you to see.
But i guess i can't even do that anymore.
I can't draw a painting painted in my mind because my fingers wouldn't move as accurately, my paintbrush turned stiff from not being utilised for too long.
Therefore, fellow readers, i need more time to soften the joints, loosen the muscles, see through myself with much more clarity.

NeoWakko in Bristol¬
Nothing exciting here so far.

Violet~

Everything i've said had its purpose. Same goes to the things i didn't say. The message is there, said or not. Everyone does this. Most of them don't do it intentionally. I do.

You asked which was better, to want to die, or not wanting to live.

In the end, it's all falls down to the perspective its seen through.

In the perspective i've chosen to see it through:

To die, is either to have the heart stopped beating or stopped working.
To cease bodily function or to stop caring, enjoying, or loving.

To live, is the keep the heart beating, or to enjoy life.
To breathe, to spoil yourself with a cozy bed and good music, to feel the thrill of doing something harmlessly wrong, to sleep in on a rainy weekday, to drink in a quiet place at night...

Given that perspective, the question now is still, "which is better"?

Hmmmm...

I can't say i can answer that. They both seem pointless.
Although there's no point in living life without trying to enjoy it, to want to die would be a permanent solution to that problem.

Should you choose not to enjoy life, not to make that jump off the forbidden cliff, not to dash past that point of no return, there's still room for someone else to do it for you.

I dunno.... i think that to not want to die, is giving life its well deserved chance.
To give other people a chance to make you happy.
At least, at peace with yourself.
Someone to calm that hurricane in your mind, and the storm in your heart.

I don't think i can write anymore. I just can't write like before.
And for that i apologise.

I lack the honesty with words now.
I lack the ability to express myself through words.

You need to learn to control your life, your thoughts, your emotions and moods.
Learn to make the best decisions- and not just settle with those that are "good enough". Find some sort of stability and peace.
Hating yourself won't solve anything, and if you don't do those things mentioned, someone else will.

That's all i can muster up for now.
It lacks honesty.

Face to face it is.

Out of Juice~

I'm losing my writing skills.
I used to have problems with putting thoughts to words and started writing to fix that. It worked for awhile. I can feel it coming back tho.

It seems that everything i do or think about now just stays in my head these days. In complex, wordless form. I should start writing again before it gets difficult even to talk to people.

I think i've lost my passion. Lost much. Daily activities have reduced these days.

I'm rotting inside out.

I need to get into more shit.

Why i don't blog~

My current blogging pattern is obviously different than how it started.
Back then, i had things to say, people to say it to.
Subliminal messages to send...haha.

Now i don't.
I think i've slowly lost interest in people..in general.
That social needs, make new friends, meet new people...bla bla bla...

A long time ago, i was the kind of person who would rather keep things to himself.
Most of my time is spent on just trying to understand myself.
Observing myself.
One day it changed, i began to observe the world, make comparisons, understand other people and other things in other places.

Now i'm falling back to the initial state of mind. Something isn't right. Maybe, in the seas of new people and places, i've lost touch with myself. Things i thought i knew about me has become obsolete information.

I may grow up lifeless and lonely.
The thought of it doesn't seem to bother me anymore.

Happy people don't blog.
People who has lost much don't blog as well.
People who couldn't give alot of shits out there.

Oh, and there's a load of things i don't give a fuck about now.

Me first meme

I AM doing my first meme. What a strange name.

I JUST cursed the fool who tagged me.

I SAID i just cursed to fool who tagged me...

I WANT a Nintendo Wii

I WISH my car ran on air.

I HATE the new modernised world.

I MISS the nice steaming bowl of pho bo

I FEAR rotten oysters.

I HEAR that Suanie is curious about..."measurements"

I WONDER if i should tell her its just me.

I REGRET more than i should

I AM not answering this again

I SING cause (apparently) no one else wants to!

I CRY when angels deserve to die...(can't help it)

I AM AAAAAARRGHH!!!

I MADE shit from food.

I WRITE when i need to.

I CONFUSED the ones who isn't supposed to be

I NEED something new. all the time.

I SHOULD start some shit today.

I START some shit today

I FINISH some shit today.


Uh...the tagging part eh....
I'm not good with this....
i'll leave this for later.

It will come to you when you least expects it...

The mistaken concept~

Ever heard of someone saying "honour your mistakes?"
I haven't. Taking it at face value, it sounds like an offer to a road to destruction.
But the first time i heard it, it made complete sense.

Mistakes, the very concept of mistakes is the aftermath of something that went wrong.
Like a warning sign. A car alarm, water sprinkler so on.
Most people would see their mistake, ignore it, and they will eventually have to deal with it later on.
-like ignoring the car alarm of your car.

Some would fear it so much, they back off when they are at risk of making it.

Then there are those who would acknowledge it, learn from it, honour it.
If god gave us a hurricane to tell us about global warming, then by all means we honour that hurricane, by taking it as a lesson, and cut down on our toxic emissions.

We are not who we are today, because of what we did right.

WHY~

Edited. Deleted.

Anyone who read it would do well to keep it to themselves.

It's not the destination~

Life. A journey.
The A to Z.
The big journey.

We all know what is good from bad.
But what matters most is knowing whats good from better.

what is better?

What's better than better?
What's better than that?

If life is about falling down and getting back up again,
wouldn't the difference between individuals lies in how fast they get up?
or how well they do so?

If one doesn't learn from falling once, one will fall again.

Learn from one, prevent one, fall for another, prevent another.

In the end, it all comes down to stupidity.

yes. stupidity.

A disease.

Comes from the condition known as "thinking-defficiency" or TD.

Contagious too.

i'm getting really tired of this.