It's like throwing darts made out of shit, and the target's a fan.
An update without much thought on consequences.
But an honest one.
1. Manda dun seem to come around anfield much these days.
2. Her new guy, so far, that i've heard, is an ass hole.
3. If she doesn't see what we ALL seem to see, she's just holding on to another time bomb.
If any of you think i should take this down before she sees it, tell me, and i will.
Dissappointment is in the eyes of Anfielders, if i'm not mistaken, on this matter.
In my opinion, you're trying something too hard. Not quite sure what.
And i think we're still willing to fight a war for you. For the time being.
Damn i need sleep.
Any my gut feeling havent' ticked yet for friday.
About Me
- NeoWakko
- Words can help us grow, Like horse piss help trees. (Wonderfully btw)
Monday, February 28, 2005
Thursday, February 24, 2005
The new Anthem~
I think we have stumbled upon something that hits our spot.
An anthem for this chapter of our life.
Things going my way and it does feel funny.
I can proudly say that i am happy with life.
There are things in the back of my head though, but that's still considered a good thing.
Am i expecting 100% problemless life?
Be happy and satisfied with everything?
Might as well smoke up for that, and it is illegal for a reason.
~Here I go,
scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go,
there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one~
How many blogs did that come out on?
Haha... definitely an anthem.
I'm sure we're more....SATISFIED with this one.
An anthem for this chapter of our life.
Things going my way and it does feel funny.
I can proudly say that i am happy with life.
There are things in the back of my head though, but that's still considered a good thing.
Am i expecting 100% problemless life?
Be happy and satisfied with everything?
Might as well smoke up for that, and it is illegal for a reason.
~Here I go,
scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go,
there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one~
How many blogs did that come out on?
Haha... definitely an anthem.
I'm sure we're more....SATISFIED with this one.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Dareka no negai ga kanau koro ka?
Ah, Mon.
The darkest day of the week, the day no blessings reaches the earth.
The day God goes on a holiday, the day nothing turns right.
Happiness is the red cloth waved in front of us, only to be pulled away once we got close enough to breathe on it.
Then we find a sword down the back of our neck.
Sneaky indeed, this Mon.
We are the bull in this picture, the inverted bull, for whatever it is that comes out of us on the Mon is bullshit.
Happiness is something to fight for.
Happiness is made, not found. Made with your own blood and sweat.
A product of your mind.
On one hand i have my happiness, on the other, the happiness of others.
If you could keep only one, which would it be?
I picked mine, and i'm ready to suffer the consequences.
It definitely isn't something easy to obtain.
Neither was it an easy decision to make.
A question i pondered on for afew months in fact.
My mind, it troubles me when i need it the most.
Happiness does not last very long.
I need a holiday.
9.40, 18.80.
The darkest day of the week, the day no blessings reaches the earth.
The day God goes on a holiday, the day nothing turns right.
Happiness is the red cloth waved in front of us, only to be pulled away once we got close enough to breathe on it.
Then we find a sword down the back of our neck.
Sneaky indeed, this Mon.
We are the bull in this picture, the inverted bull, for whatever it is that comes out of us on the Mon is bullshit.
Happiness is something to fight for.
Happiness is made, not found. Made with your own blood and sweat.
A product of your mind.
On one hand i have my happiness, on the other, the happiness of others.
If you could keep only one, which would it be?
I picked mine, and i'm ready to suffer the consequences.
It definitely isn't something easy to obtain.
Neither was it an easy decision to make.
A question i pondered on for afew months in fact.
My mind, it troubles me when i need it the most.
Happiness does not last very long.
I need a holiday.
9.40, 18.80.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Vision~
I noticed that these days i seem to explore and observe less of the outside world, and more within myself.
Speaking of self, when was the last time you conversed with your self?
Your own self as a good friend is a highly recommended investment, you would never intentionally lie and cheat yourself for the benefit of yourself (since if you hurtt your other self, you would be effected as well, obviously)
I have 3, possibly 4 "state of mind" that i distinguished and categorized and labelled. Three individual selfs.
I do talk to them once in awhile, for a different point of view of things.
I do take care of them and have enough control of it to get along with life.
There's always one in control and the other as backup. Why i said possibly 4 was because the presence of the fourth one stopped when i was slightly older than 5 years of age. It comes around once in awhile. Rare, but it does.
My entries are becoming pointless and boring. I used to have more to say. Now i have more to think about.
If only words are better in function as a form of self expression.
No i'm no poet, i don't get poetry even.
But i think a part of me does.
A part of me feel each word passing through, each emotion, the authors' pain, happiness, joy, and sorrow at the way each words are arranged.
It's an art, as how an artist would blend the colours properly, arrange them. An invisible systematic process that could only be seen by breaking it down.
But words are everywhere, unlike gold, diamonds or rubies.
Nothing is special when its' everywhere, it even loses its' value.
Like paint, words are everywhere.
Humans get so attached to things that triggers their emotions.
Vision, scent, touch, hearing, taste.
Our 5 senses are doorways to our emotions.
Without our proper control over them, someone else would be.
Words... doesn't really fall under any of those 5 categories does it?
Words uses a totally different doorway of its own to our emotions, our minds. The most valuable possession of all.
Speaking of self, when was the last time you conversed with your self?
Your own self as a good friend is a highly recommended investment, you would never intentionally lie and cheat yourself for the benefit of yourself (since if you hurtt your other self, you would be effected as well, obviously)
I have 3, possibly 4 "state of mind" that i distinguished and categorized and labelled. Three individual selfs.
I do talk to them once in awhile, for a different point of view of things.
I do take care of them and have enough control of it to get along with life.
There's always one in control and the other as backup. Why i said possibly 4 was because the presence of the fourth one stopped when i was slightly older than 5 years of age. It comes around once in awhile. Rare, but it does.
My entries are becoming pointless and boring. I used to have more to say. Now i have more to think about.
If only words are better in function as a form of self expression.
No i'm no poet, i don't get poetry even.
But i think a part of me does.
A part of me feel each word passing through, each emotion, the authors' pain, happiness, joy, and sorrow at the way each words are arranged.
It's an art, as how an artist would blend the colours properly, arrange them. An invisible systematic process that could only be seen by breaking it down.
But words are everywhere, unlike gold, diamonds or rubies.
Nothing is special when its' everywhere, it even loses its' value.
Like paint, words are everywhere.
Humans get so attached to things that triggers their emotions.
Vision, scent, touch, hearing, taste.
Our 5 senses are doorways to our emotions.
Without our proper control over them, someone else would be.
Words... doesn't really fall under any of those 5 categories does it?
Words uses a totally different doorway of its own to our emotions, our minds. The most valuable possession of all.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Kutabare soushite shine~
"had a bad day again
she said i would not understand
she left a note and said i'm sorry i
had a bad day again
she spilled her coffe, broke her shoelace
smeared the lipstick on her face
slammed the door and said i'm sorry i
had a bad day again
and she swears there's nothing wrong
i hear her playing the same old song
she puts me off and puts me on
and had a bad day again
she said i would not understand
left a note and said i'm sorry i
had a bad day again"
Nothing relevant. Just had a chain of bad days.
A bad combo.
And God appears to be on a holiday.
she said i would not understand
she left a note and said i'm sorry i
had a bad day again
she spilled her coffe, broke her shoelace
smeared the lipstick on her face
slammed the door and said i'm sorry i
had a bad day again
and she swears there's nothing wrong
i hear her playing the same old song
she puts me off and puts me on
and had a bad day again
she said i would not understand
left a note and said i'm sorry i
had a bad day again"
Nothing relevant. Just had a chain of bad days.
A bad combo.
And God appears to be on a holiday.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Audience~
It's nice to know people still read my blog... =:p
Sometimes, the spur of the moment can make one jump onto the stage to join in the act.
Maybe it's human flaw, maybe it's the adrenaline, maybe you're supposed to.
Who here can lie to themselves convincingly?
I wonder.
At first there was me, then i split into two.
I was then able to talk to me, who i think is right, but i think i'm not wrong.
I wonder what i think about in this matter. I like chocolate but i like vanilla.
I think it's half empty but i think it's half full.
If i split into another and become 2 individuals, i would kill myself.
Should i remain in the audience when i know what needs to be done on stage?
Should i solve their dilemma and start a new one?
...another pointless entry which holds no meaning, no secrets, no messages.
But something needs to be sacrificed and something will be sacrificed.
But for which greater good?
Sometimes, the spur of the moment can make one jump onto the stage to join in the act.
Maybe it's human flaw, maybe it's the adrenaline, maybe you're supposed to.
Who here can lie to themselves convincingly?
I wonder.
At first there was me, then i split into two.
I was then able to talk to me, who i think is right, but i think i'm not wrong.
I wonder what i think about in this matter. I like chocolate but i like vanilla.
I think it's half empty but i think it's half full.
If i split into another and become 2 individuals, i would kill myself.
Should i remain in the audience when i know what needs to be done on stage?
Should i solve their dilemma and start a new one?
...another pointless entry which holds no meaning, no secrets, no messages.
But something needs to be sacrificed and something will be sacrificed.
But for which greater good?
Friday, February 04, 2005
A Play~
I was an audience of a play last night.
A play i criticised so much before watching, but left me contemplating about plenty of things after.
Whoever said that life is a stage was right - a fact that i realised when i was 5 but forgot about afew years later.
It does clear things up abit.
Depressing.
Everything is so depressing.
The world's a mess, and one would look into oneself to find the answer, and the deeper he looks, the messier the mess he saw. Reflect upon others as how he reflected upon himself, and if he was an other, he would definitely not be concerned of himself.
I'm not the main character in my tragic life story. I am an audience. The story is mine, it is about me, but no, i am one with the audience.
I sit and watch the actors following their storyline, each with their own premade scripts and i watch them interact with one another.
I watch them. They die inside and break many tears i watched them.
My world is a stage, one i'm not on like all the performers.
The stage is no place for me.
I am the one in the audience who would help those tragic actors and actresses if i could, but i am, an audience. I could only watch what i could not reach for. A puzzle i could solve that is beyond my grasp.
In the audience i sit while they share their pain and sorrow for all to feel. In the audience i sit while my emotions eat me up alive. In the audience, to the unreachable stage, i sit helpless.
Should i seem angry and not tell you about it, should i seem angry and not share it with you, should i seem angry and i do not look to you, then chances are, i'm angry at you.
A play i criticised so much before watching, but left me contemplating about plenty of things after.
Whoever said that life is a stage was right - a fact that i realised when i was 5 but forgot about afew years later.
It does clear things up abit.
Depressing.
Everything is so depressing.
The world's a mess, and one would look into oneself to find the answer, and the deeper he looks, the messier the mess he saw. Reflect upon others as how he reflected upon himself, and if he was an other, he would definitely not be concerned of himself.
I'm not the main character in my tragic life story. I am an audience. The story is mine, it is about me, but no, i am one with the audience.
I sit and watch the actors following their storyline, each with their own premade scripts and i watch them interact with one another.
I watch them. They die inside and break many tears i watched them.
My world is a stage, one i'm not on like all the performers.
The stage is no place for me.
I am the one in the audience who would help those tragic actors and actresses if i could, but i am, an audience. I could only watch what i could not reach for. A puzzle i could solve that is beyond my grasp.
In the audience i sit while they share their pain and sorrow for all to feel. In the audience i sit while my emotions eat me up alive. In the audience, to the unreachable stage, i sit helpless.
Should i seem angry and not tell you about it, should i seem angry and not share it with you, should i seem angry and i do not look to you, then chances are, i'm angry at you.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Pyramids past life?~
A dream. Like all other dreams, came from nowhere, with no sign or left any of its traces behind.
It came and went, like all the others.
I was in the mind of an old dying man. One who had accomplished many things in his life, one who was the greatest of them all. One who died without regrets.
I was in the mind of a man full of wisdom, full of knowledge, but not life.
He yearned for immortality for he knew his time was coming to an end.
He was wise enough not to fight a battle he can't win.
He knew that he was going, but the question then was what to leave behind.
Like all the others, he worshipped the sun.
The sun brings life to all.
This man lay awake at sunset, and he saw stairs coming up from the ground towards the sun.
"A stairway to the sun..." he thought.
"I will leave behind, a stairway to the sun, for i had proven better than my predecessor, and no other shall succeed over me"
Thus huge steps were built, narrowing at the top where it represents the incredible distance, and contrary to most beliefs, the people were honoured to build it. They were not slaves, they were his people, and that was the last time they could serve him.
Much of the construction was in sorrow. They knew the reality of what they were building.
One the king has been buried in the building, they sealed the steps with limestone, so no one could follow behind him, and so that he could not turn back from his journey to the sun.
It came and went, like all the others.
I was in the mind of an old dying man. One who had accomplished many things in his life, one who was the greatest of them all. One who died without regrets.
I was in the mind of a man full of wisdom, full of knowledge, but not life.
He yearned for immortality for he knew his time was coming to an end.
He was wise enough not to fight a battle he can't win.
He knew that he was going, but the question then was what to leave behind.
Like all the others, he worshipped the sun.
The sun brings life to all.
This man lay awake at sunset, and he saw stairs coming up from the ground towards the sun.
"A stairway to the sun..." he thought.
"I will leave behind, a stairway to the sun, for i had proven better than my predecessor, and no other shall succeed over me"
Thus huge steps were built, narrowing at the top where it represents the incredible distance, and contrary to most beliefs, the people were honoured to build it. They were not slaves, they were his people, and that was the last time they could serve him.
Much of the construction was in sorrow. They knew the reality of what they were building.
One the king has been buried in the building, they sealed the steps with limestone, so no one could follow behind him, and so that he could not turn back from his journey to the sun.
Monday, January 17, 2005
The air is thick with lies~
Nothing seems right for long.
I could be thinking about a bright and happy future,
and the next second, homicidal thoughts.
Not seriously homicidal, just anger.
My heart doesn't pump like normal anymore.
It's pumping so much hate.
So much hate it keeps me up at night.
It makes me sick in the mornings.
The only good thing about it is that my injured finger feels numb.
I know there are people i know reading this blog.
I know some of them may be about you.
But this is it, i'm laying them out.
Again, the air is thick with lies.
I live in a big lie.
I seek the way of truth, and followed it.
But now i'm very much lost.
I'm in need of help in ways no one can.
I have lost the truth, and found much lies.
The stories go around, and each passing, a sentence is added.
The air is thick with lies.
Lies so thick i'm choking.
I could be thinking about a bright and happy future,
and the next second, homicidal thoughts.
Not seriously homicidal, just anger.
My heart doesn't pump like normal anymore.
It's pumping so much hate.
So much hate it keeps me up at night.
It makes me sick in the mornings.
The only good thing about it is that my injured finger feels numb.
I know there are people i know reading this blog.
I know some of them may be about you.
But this is it, i'm laying them out.
Again, the air is thick with lies.
I live in a big lie.
I seek the way of truth, and followed it.
But now i'm very much lost.
I'm in need of help in ways no one can.
I have lost the truth, and found much lies.
The stories go around, and each passing, a sentence is added.
The air is thick with lies.
Lies so thick i'm choking.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Definitely not looking good~
Another urge to blog.
4th entry? 5th?
I'm gonna lose count soon.
Vulnerable.
Time.
I made a decision when i was vulnerable, and no one would give me time.
They take my actions when i'm vulnerable, and my time.
I don't get anything when i'm vulnerable, i don't get any time.
When i don't understand something, i normally take a step out and take a birds-eye perspective of it all.
It's normal, for me.
Maybe even a flaw of mine.
But i noticed that no one can teach me anything, i have to learn everything myself.
Birds eye perspective..
My life, your life, our life.
It comes from playing videogames.
Ever wondered how things the game characters do seem to make sense but if you're in it's position it wouldn't?
That's because you, the gamer, is getting a birds-eye view of it all.
The character doesn't.
Funny how everything seems to fall back to my gaming background.
I may be inconsiderate, but to all the people out there, please don't be angry if i birds-eye you all.
If i birds eye anfield...
If i leave for awhile, please welcome me when i return.
And maybe things could go back to how it was.
I don't think i can handle awkwardness of the circle.
But i think i'm going to birds eye the circle.
I'm still the same person.
If i leave and come back, i'll still be the same person.
I still follow the same concept.
I really do like the circle, but i think it means alot more to someone else.
4th entry? 5th?
I'm gonna lose count soon.
Vulnerable.
Time.
I made a decision when i was vulnerable, and no one would give me time.
They take my actions when i'm vulnerable, and my time.
I don't get anything when i'm vulnerable, i don't get any time.
When i don't understand something, i normally take a step out and take a birds-eye perspective of it all.
It's normal, for me.
Maybe even a flaw of mine.
But i noticed that no one can teach me anything, i have to learn everything myself.
Birds eye perspective..
My life, your life, our life.
It comes from playing videogames.
Ever wondered how things the game characters do seem to make sense but if you're in it's position it wouldn't?
That's because you, the gamer, is getting a birds-eye view of it all.
The character doesn't.
Funny how everything seems to fall back to my gaming background.
I may be inconsiderate, but to all the people out there, please don't be angry if i birds-eye you all.
If i birds eye anfield...
If i leave for awhile, please welcome me when i return.
And maybe things could go back to how it was.
I don't think i can handle awkwardness of the circle.
But i think i'm going to birds eye the circle.
I'm still the same person.
If i leave and come back, i'll still be the same person.
I still follow the same concept.
I really do like the circle, but i think it means alot more to someone else.
Bloggers~
A sudden burst of entries i've noticed. Since 2 days ago. Three-four entries in 2 days?
I'm not surprised as well.
It's almost predictable.
Like i've said before, happy people don't blog. Not me anyway.
And i haven't been very happy have I?
I still don't know what's going on, especially in my own head. Just giving it some time. I need time. I need to make sense of things. I need to reason with myself, but my other self isn't coming out to be reasoned with.
I know for a fact that due to this, i've caused permanent damages to my surroundings.
I know i haven't gained anything.
How long didn't i blog for?
No blog = Happy.
I guess i was genuinely happy for awhile.
A happy trip.
What now?
What am i waiting for now?
What awaits me?
How is this whole mess going to end?
I'm not surprised as well.
It's almost predictable.
Like i've said before, happy people don't blog. Not me anyway.
And i haven't been very happy have I?
I still don't know what's going on, especially in my own head. Just giving it some time. I need time. I need to make sense of things. I need to reason with myself, but my other self isn't coming out to be reasoned with.
I know for a fact that due to this, i've caused permanent damages to my surroundings.
I know i haven't gained anything.
How long didn't i blog for?
No blog = Happy.
I guess i was genuinely happy for awhile.
A happy trip.
What now?
What am i waiting for now?
What awaits me?
How is this whole mess going to end?
Friday, January 14, 2005
Kremlin Dusk
"Is it like this? Is it always the same?
When a heartache begins, is it like this?
Do you like this? Is it always the same?
Do you bring back the pain? Do you like this?
Is it always the same? And will you come back again?
Do you like this? Oh do you like this?
Is it like this? Is it always the same?
If you change your mind, won't you tell me?
Is it like this? Is it always the same?
When a heartache begins, is it like this?
If you like this. Will you remember my name?
Will you play it again, if you like this?"
From the final part of the song. I dedicate it to my other half, my other me. You motherfucker.
What an eventful day.
Sorrow, regret, anger.
Emotions i haven't felt in years came by for a visit.
The fool would have been gone for if i hadn't injured my hand and had we met at a better place.
So close.
So close.
I might have messed up. I think he's beginning to be aware of my awareness. Possibly even my intentions.
That aside, the crab will return to his shell, back to where he belongs.
When a heartache begins, is it like this?
Do you like this? Is it always the same?
Do you bring back the pain? Do you like this?
Is it always the same? And will you come back again?
Do you like this? Oh do you like this?
Is it like this? Is it always the same?
If you change your mind, won't you tell me?
Is it like this? Is it always the same?
When a heartache begins, is it like this?
If you like this. Will you remember my name?
Will you play it again, if you like this?"
From the final part of the song. I dedicate it to my other half, my other me. You motherfucker.
What an eventful day.
Sorrow, regret, anger.
Emotions i haven't felt in years came by for a visit.
The fool would have been gone for if i hadn't injured my hand and had we met at a better place.
So close.
So close.
I might have messed up. I think he's beginning to be aware of my awareness. Possibly even my intentions.
That aside, the crab will return to his shell, back to where he belongs.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
For the fool.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Fuck with me and suffer the consequences.
Dark, deep - a swallowed thorn.
Hate.
For my own little miscalculations. For my having too much faith in one, who seems to make me lose faith in all.
More importantly, my miscalculation. My arrogance, my ignorance.
Tonight i died again, for i haven't been dead since half a decade ago.
Tonight i died, and it hurts more than it should.
Tonight could be avoided, but not for my arrogancee and ignorance.
I am a selfish creature. A selfish creature who have dug his own grave, and tomorrow, will make up for his mistakes - in a selfish, arrogant and ignorant way.
Let fire loose against fire. Let the fool understand.
Let this be a message, to all the fools out there.
Let tomorrow be remembered and tomorrow be feared.
For tomorrow can't be waited, and tonight will never end.
The pigeon of past had been thrown out of its home.
Tomorrow there will be fire, tomorrow there will be flames,
Tomorrow there will be passion, tomorrow there will be pain.
We've always wondered what goes past beyond that you can comprehend.
But none save the few, who found it.
And none of the few who wanted it.
None of the few would be the same, over and over again.
For my own little miscalculations. For my having too much faith in one, who seems to make me lose faith in all.
More importantly, my miscalculation. My arrogance, my ignorance.
Tonight i died again, for i haven't been dead since half a decade ago.
Tonight i died, and it hurts more than it should.
Tonight could be avoided, but not for my arrogancee and ignorance.
I am a selfish creature. A selfish creature who have dug his own grave, and tomorrow, will make up for his mistakes - in a selfish, arrogant and ignorant way.
Let fire loose against fire. Let the fool understand.
Let this be a message, to all the fools out there.
Let tomorrow be remembered and tomorrow be feared.
For tomorrow can't be waited, and tonight will never end.
The pigeon of past had been thrown out of its home.
Tomorrow there will be fire, tomorrow there will be flames,
Tomorrow there will be passion, tomorrow there will be pain.
We've always wondered what goes past beyond that you can comprehend.
But none save the few, who found it.
And none of the few who wanted it.
None of the few would be the same, over and over again.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Another one pass us by.
This is my first entry this year.
I'm forcing myself. These days i can't find anything to write about. Words are becoming strangers to me.
A new year. Maybe a start of something new. But why do some people need a new year or an event or incident to happen before they start something new?
Resolutions and such...
I did make some though, last year's resolution was to make the year better than the previous, and to get a certain individual out of my life.
Got what i wanted.
Last year was definitely better than the year before it.
I've lost count of how many times this has happened. Here i am sitting in front of the computer screen getting off topic and losing points.
I'm trying too hard.
I'm forcing myself. These days i can't find anything to write about. Words are becoming strangers to me.
A new year. Maybe a start of something new. But why do some people need a new year or an event or incident to happen before they start something new?
Resolutions and such...
I did make some though, last year's resolution was to make the year better than the previous, and to get a certain individual out of my life.
Got what i wanted.
Last year was definitely better than the year before it.
I've lost count of how many times this has happened. Here i am sitting in front of the computer screen getting off topic and losing points.
I'm trying too hard.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Lotuses and Tapirs~
To start with, the title is not meaningless.
It's a very special individuals' flow of thought.
If compared to this entry however, yes it is meaningless.
I still get dreams of being ultimately helpless.
"Maybe i'm going crazy" have crossed my mind afew times.
Maybe I am.
Maybe the world is and i'm not instead.
Our definition of crazy itself is crazy.
What right do we have to say what is crazy and what isn't?
Weird and an outcast.
Strange and uncategorized.
I'm not very open i know. Even if i tried to open up.
I'm sure alot of people i'm really close to knows i haven't really opened up to them.
All but a forbidden friendship.
The first snow to fall on a flower is where two people met.
Always longing, always lonely.
Their dark life only blooms when they meet.
Thinking of the future, their ideal future.
Creating fantasies of happiness.
But that is only fantasy.
They know it's not possible.
They know it won't happen.
But even if, for a moment, they could take the weight of their world off their shoulders,
Risking the destruction of their own hearts,
It would be worth it.
Life would have a meaning then.
What little they shared is more beautiful than things most of us would ever experience.
どこ が わたし の しあわせ です か？
あなた が わたし の しあわせ。
でも、 どこ が あなた です か。。。？
わたし に あなた を。
It's a very special individuals' flow of thought.
If compared to this entry however, yes it is meaningless.
I still get dreams of being ultimately helpless.
"Maybe i'm going crazy" have crossed my mind afew times.
Maybe I am.
Maybe the world is and i'm not instead.
Our definition of crazy itself is crazy.
What right do we have to say what is crazy and what isn't?
Weird and an outcast.
Strange and uncategorized.
I'm not very open i know. Even if i tried to open up.
I'm sure alot of people i'm really close to knows i haven't really opened up to them.
All but a forbidden friendship.
The first snow to fall on a flower is where two people met.
Always longing, always lonely.
Their dark life only blooms when they meet.
Thinking of the future, their ideal future.
Creating fantasies of happiness.
But that is only fantasy.
They know it's not possible.
They know it won't happen.
But even if, for a moment, they could take the weight of their world off their shoulders,
Risking the destruction of their own hearts,
It would be worth it.
Life would have a meaning then.
What little they shared is more beautiful than things most of us would ever experience.
どこ が わたし の しあわせ です か？
あなた が わたし の しあわせ。
でも、 どこ が あなた です か。。。？
わたし に あなた を。
Ahem~
The entry below, doesn't mean jack.
The title says it all.
So.... uh.. ignore...it?
Too lazy to delete.
The title says it all.
So.... uh.. ignore...it?
Too lazy to delete.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Under the influence~
If i was a donkey, will you ride me?
If i was a car, will you drive me?
How can one heart fall in two holes?
How can emotions take control?
Fuck mood swings. Fuck the world.
Set me free from these chains that binds me.
Binds me to the realm of reality.
Set me free from my own desires.
Set me free from your laws and rules.
Set me free from system, your world.
Set me free from your own people.
May my Angel forgive for what i've done in this world.
If i was a car, will you drive me?
How can one heart fall in two holes?
How can emotions take control?
Fuck mood swings. Fuck the world.
Set me free from these chains that binds me.
Binds me to the realm of reality.
Set me free from my own desires.
Set me free from your laws and rules.
Set me free from system, your world.
Set me free from your own people.
May my Angel forgive for what i've done in this world.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Deaths~
It's that feeling again.
That mood...
Sleepless night.
Random thoughts.
An inevitable problem that you can't see yet.
Dreams of being helpless.
Shortened temper.
I'm taking up to a minute to write each line.
Self expression... feeling the need to express myself.
Not the faintest idea how.
Next year will be a very lonely year.
I can't wait for the year after.
Greetings to all of you.
Thanks for reading up to here.
I'm still holding on.
I'm still all right.
Stay alive ya?
Alive and well.
That mood...
Sleepless night.
Random thoughts.
An inevitable problem that you can't see yet.
Dreams of being helpless.
Shortened temper.
I'm taking up to a minute to write each line.
Self expression... feeling the need to express myself.
Not the faintest idea how.
Next year will be a very lonely year.
I can't wait for the year after.
Greetings to all of you.
Thanks for reading up to here.
I'm still holding on.
I'm still all right.
Stay alive ya?
Alive and well.
みな しね~
The world, my world, the whole of my world, is constipated.
It could give me shit on a regular basis, but No, it would rather pile it all up and one day drop a bomb on me.
And as we know it, shit tends to stick together. When one thing falls out of place, the rest, sometimes irrelevant and has no relation whatsoever to the first, would as well, fall out of place.
The chain goes on and on and on. Until your whole world seems to be out of place.
Which somehow got me thinking about blogs, bloggers and the whole concept behind it.
Some want to blog, some need to, others feel the need to.
To let it out? To be heard?
One thing's for sure, happy people don't blog.
I'm not happy?
I don't think i am. Not lately. If i was happy, i won't be writing about it.
And so here we are, birds of different feather,
Jack of all trades, but master of none (master of one, for me)
Those who gather not to find similarities, but accept differences.
Curious people. Moving ahead and learning while at it.
We're grateful for each individual who understands our concept, and finds eat appealing to them.
An island in the ocean of fools.
An island in the society.
Or maybe it's just me who feels that way.
It could give me shit on a regular basis, but No, it would rather pile it all up and one day drop a bomb on me.
And as we know it, shit tends to stick together. When one thing falls out of place, the rest, sometimes irrelevant and has no relation whatsoever to the first, would as well, fall out of place.
The chain goes on and on and on. Until your whole world seems to be out of place.
Which somehow got me thinking about blogs, bloggers and the whole concept behind it.
Some want to blog, some need to, others feel the need to.
To let it out? To be heard?
One thing's for sure, happy people don't blog.
I'm not happy?
I don't think i am. Not lately. If i was happy, i won't be writing about it.
And so here we are, birds of different feather,
Jack of all trades, but master of none (master of one, for me)
Those who gather not to find similarities, but accept differences.
Curious people. Moving ahead and learning while at it.
We're grateful for each individual who understands our concept, and finds eat appealing to them.
An island in the ocean of fools.
An island in the society.
Or maybe it's just me who feels that way.
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