Dictatorship: Origins~

Due to recent events concerning national politics, it had become evident that there's something deeply wrong about this nation. Observations concluded that my generation appears to be trapped between a government- that exploit their people for their own benefits in terms of wealth and authority, and the people who would most probably do the same if they were in the same position of power.

A rally was formed to spread awareness of a simple agenda and the people divided themselves into different sides- some for, some against, mostly for the wrong reasons.

I met a few people who were against the movement and asked them why they were against it. Their response seemed to be based on inaccurate facts. Facts they were simply told. I told them to go do their own research into it before making such silly judgements. Which they did, and despite knowing the truth, they still preferred sticking to the first thing they were told, and treated anything different with suspicion.

If one were to simply observe, one would notice that people like this do exist. These people believe one side over another simply because it was heard first.

How did this happen? I came up with a few theories:

1. Lack of evidence for what was heard first. A fact without evidence is very weak, and need to be defended. When contrary evidence presents itself, it is destroying the first, thus, a threat. Primitive I know. It's amazing we managed to believe the earth is round at all.

2. Our education system.

We all know how the education system here uses the "spoonfeeding" technique to boost high scoring students. Sure it would make us all look good, but at the cost of our nations' future.

When a student is learning, they take the data, process it, then shit out some facts based on that processed data. Spoon feeding however, skips the data and the most crucial part of it all- the "think on your own, you dumb shit" part.

Think of it like eating food. We eat the meat, the veggies, fruits and nuts and all that. Our body then digest it, extracts the (mostly) good stuff, and pile the unwanted stuff altogether with things it needs to get rid of. The rest, as you know, explodes out the back door.

The mind kinda works that way too.

By spoon feeding our students, the education system is basically feeding our nation shit so they could shit out shit. Then by observing the latter shit, they conclude that the student must have eaten some good stuff.

But that's missing the whole point isn't it? We send kids to school to learn to think, and we should therefore rate their achievements based on how well they could think, not regurgitate.

When you raise and educate them that way, you're pretty much training them to "shut up and follow". I suppose in the best case scenario, you will get a nation of people who are only good at shutting up and following.

The cure for our nations' cancer lies in improving our education system. You should help develop us to think and express our opinions. To come up with our own understanding of how things should be. To criticize, comment, and be critical in our thoughts- even if it is against you. And if one day you succeed in making us all thinkers and we made an intelligent decision relive you off your position, you will step down.

Because you work to serve us.

Till then, the sheep would settle for any shepherd.

Hang on a sec~

We have reached a very interesting age in mankind's civilization haven't we?

I found that civilization grows by understanding concepts.

To put this into perspective, imagine travelling back in time say, around 500 years ago, and try to explain to people then what "google" is.

Today, we all know what it is. (note: it is safe to say "ALL" because those who don't won't be reading this anyway) We may not even know what it is categorized under, but we would at least know how to use it, as intimately as how we know to eat, i might add.

We can describe it with two words now: Search, Engine.

What would we need to describe it 500 years ago?

We can't. Well, not easily at all. In order to explain what google is 500 years ago, we would have to explain a few concepts beforehand.

Here are the concepts in reverse order

the web < internet < monitors < keyboard < computers < electronic < electricity.

Hell, once you've done all the explaining, you're most probably gonna get either strange looks / thrown into prison for witchcraft / worshipped as a diety. (Not to forget that they're not gonna understand it anyway)

Best case scenario is that you're gonna develop a reputation as being a divine messenger of the god Google- he who knows all and can provide answers to millions of questions simultaneously.

Pretty cool yea?

We can go further tho.

Let's say we artificially inseminate a young, unmarried chaste women. That would sure confuse the hell out of them.

-But damn. Angels would've beaten you by 1500 years.

Or we give them an ipad with built in wikipedia and teach them how to use it.

-Still nope. Angels beat you to that by a few thousands of years. (unless you dont make it look like the tablet is made of emerald, you may have a chance)

Why not just pick one out of the crowd and give some 1 on 1 tutoring on how everything works?

-Grr... angels again. And they let him write a book about it too. Thank you Mr E.

Let's just keep it simple. Pick a tribe, and help em out with their wars. Should be pretty easy right? All we have to do is fly some planes over and drop some bombs. They would retell the stories of how our glorious birds smite their enemies with magical stones for aeons!

-Oh wait. Angels got that covered too.

But hang on a sec...

These were events of a different age.

If these angels were to do that now,

How would we pass the story down the generations?

(When asked what i think angels are, i'm gonna say it's me with a time machine)

Proud-ness~

Do you know anyone who claims to be proud of their pride?
Just give that a second or two.

Proud of their pride? How does that work?

What else can fall under this category?

Too fat to diet. Overestimating humbleness.

I actually think that the source of this problem could stem from the confusion between their understanding of "self confidence" and "pride".

Adding on to that, it may also include the confusion of understanding between "proud" and "arrogant".

People who take pride in their proudness could therefore be finding satisfaction in being "confident of their arrogance".

I think people take pride in their pride when they actually have nothing else to feel proud of. It's a dangerously blinding cycle.

I write this based on self reflection, so if any of you took it personally- don't get into the habit of thinking everything's about you.

Magic~

Magic is wonderful until it is understood. We love it. We breathe it. We dream it true every single day.
We have integrated it so deeply in our minds that we can openly believe in magic without even admitting to ourselves that we do.

We are at an age where we can accept facts that are more ridiculous than Disney fantasies.

There are powerful symbols in this world. So powerful in fact, that for those who know how to look, can find it as a cause and end of most wars. By being exposed to it alone, one could invoke clarity or madness in a person, and the difference depends on the order of the symbols the individual was exposed to.

For those who wield these symbols, happiness, grief, sorrow or pain could be commanded into another.

Most wielders takes years to learn these symbols, and decades to master them.

The true masters of these symbols have actually wielded them to changed the world to their own liking.

The use of this power is hardly a secret however. we are all capable of mastering the great symbols. All 26 of them.

It's not even that difficult to figure out what i'm talking about. But if one only managed to figure it out at the end, one would realize what magic really is.

Magic resides in not understanding.

I've been told by many that they do not believe in magic, I can only believe it if it comes from an atheist.

The hidden aspects of gaming~

Most people don't understand this, but gamers can actually learn a lot about a person based on the games they like and dislike. When gamers meet for the first time, they always ask each other about their favourite games, and by favourite, we mean games that left an impact. The experience that they keep in their hearts.

Here's what you hear:

Gamer#1 : "One of my favourite games would be.... Final Fantasy 7"
Gamer#2 : "Same here!"

What information was exchanged between the two?

"I have lived a life as Cloud Strife, teamed up with Berret and Tifa in a group called Avalanche to take down the largest corporation in the world because it was killing the planet. Later on, we were joined by Yuffie, Vincent, Red XIII, Cid, Cait and not to forget, Aerith.
We ended up fighting against a powerful warrior who had help from the ancients (also had a terrible god-complex) which took ages.
I spent countless hours with these people. I knew them. They were friends. I was putting in more effort than my parents could ever understand for our common cause.

We succeeded.

We miss Aerith.

And i loved every second of it"

"Same here!"

Things in the Draft~

Everyone has words in them. Some are kept for themselves as secrets. Some wait for the right moment to be delivered.
Everyone has those they know will never be delivered. They composed it a long time ago, and once in awhile, would take it out to edit it. Refine it, for years and years.

These words know to whom they are meant to be sent to. The receiver's information has been filled, but the send button would never be pressed.

Things in the Draft.

Buah buahan tempatan~

Found a notebook of mine from Year 10. It contained an essay that i'd like to share here (also to keep as a digital copy).

We were told to write a letter to a friend in a foreign land, about the buah buahan tempatan.

Been wanting to do this for ages, but never found the will to do so.

Today i found the book half soaked because of a water container malfunction so i'm gonna do it now.

Ahem.

***

Buah Buahan tempatan.
By me at a much younger age.

Ke hadapan sahabatku saudara Joni yang kini berada di Bangladesh dengan selamat sejahteranya.

Apa khabar wahai saudaraku yang berada di tanah Bangla. Saya berharap saudara akan selalu sihat sejahtera. Saya tahu akan sebabnya saudara sembelit selama lima bulan. Saudara tidak makan buah-buahan!

Oleh itu, saya telah menghantar surat ini untuk bercerita suatu cerita buah buahan.

Pada suatu masa dahulu, terdapatlah sebuah pokok durian. Pokok itu dipercayai boleh menyembuhkan berbagai jenis penyakit. Cerita ini tersampailah ke telinga si musang. Musang ini sedang sembelit teruk, ia sudah sembelit selama enam bulan. Lalu ia pun bercadang untuk pergi ke pokok durian itu.

Ia tiba di hutan lalu menjerit, "wahai rambutan, saya seekor musang sembelit. Tunjukkanlah saya arah pokok durian ajaib"
"Ke utara, wahai sang musang sembelit" jawab rambutan itu. Sang musang sembelitpun terus dan jumpa pokoknya.

Pokok durian itu amat besar dan tinggi. Ia terdapat banyak durian tergantung di dahannya. Sang musang bertanya dengan pokok itu.

"Wahai pokok durian. Si rambutan memberitahuku bahawa kamulah pokok ajaib. Saya memohon pertolonganmu. Saya sudah sembelit selama enam bulan. Kurniakanlah kuasamu kepadaku untuk menyembuhkan penyakitku."

"Baiklah" jawab pokok itu, "tetapi kamu mesti membaham dua biji manggis dan sebiji rambutan".

Musang itu pun mencari buah manggis dan rambutan. Ia terjumpa pokok manggis dan membaham empat biji. Ia pula kembali ke rambutan kecil itu dan membaham ia dan sebiji rakannya. Ia pula kembali ke pokok durian ajaib dan jatuhlah sebiji durian dan ia menghempap perut musang itu. Hilanglah kesembelitan sang musang.

Itulah ceritaku wahai saudara.

Sekian,
My Name.

***

I still remember my teacher calling me up to the front of class cause he was terribly annoyed-yet-impressed at my piece of literature. I got a pretty good 20 out of 25.

I'm not gonna tell you how old I was when i wrote this.

The subconscious code~

Had a dream last night.
In it, you were gone.
You didn't just leave me, you left all of us.

It was an accident.
...a road accident.
I didn't see it. But like dreams go, i just knew.

Everything felt so real.
I knew you were gone.
All i did after that was staring at your facebook page, reading messages left by your friends and family.
Many came in. Saying they're lonely now that you're gone.
Saying they hope that wherever you are now, they hope it's a better place.

Each one of those updates sent shockwaves of disappointment through me.
I kept on expecting for an update from you.

I did the same with your twitter page.
Although it didn't move at all.
I stared and begged the universe to let me see an update from you.
To wake up and realised that it was just a dream, and everything's fine.

Fortunately it happened. So i woke up deep in thought.
I know that dreams reflect on our subconscious.
That there's a bigger lesson to be learnt from all this.

As i sit here now writing about the event itself, i realized the hidden message from my subconscious:

I love the goddamn internet.

"The Egg" by Andy Weir~

I stumbled upon this story and it struck something new in me.
All credits in the title.

You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.

A time for unfulfilled craving~

A very fine link had just been realized between a few different beliefs.
Though known by different names, it is essentially a period of time, devoted to "unfulfilled cravings".
These cravings are hardly edible sort, seeing as how it is more towards the realms of psychology and spirituality.

A long time ago, humanity have discovered that they need to set a period of time and devise ways to bring out their deepest problems from the realm of the subconscious.

Some of these are known today as ego, pride, and insecurities.

"...let's take a month or so, at least a few weeks, out of a year, and bring out the worst in us so at the very least, we can acknowledge its existence."

Once aware, we are to try and eliminate them from within, thus taking a step towards living in peace and harmony with our surroundings.

Desires that cannot be fulfilled is quite harmful- to us and those around us. We all know that somebody who:
- Needs compliments.
- Can't take a criticism.
- Needs to be respected
- Can't handle the slightest bit of disrespect. (even if it was a "maybe that was kinda disrespecting... i think" sort of incident)
- needs that extra attention. all the time.
- always, always bragging. about everything.
- always comparing.....everything.
- the know-it-all
- the one-upper

...and personally, someone who see them this way will always see them as a joke. I'm sure i have people who see me as a joke!

So if we were aware of these flaws in our characteristics, or if we feel the need to fill this void... one important question to ask would be, "to what end?"

We cause so much disharmony in our quest to fill a bottomless pit because we're afraid it would be empty!

These desires are usually caused by some sort of childhood events, neglected by parents, overly strict parents, bad group of friends, so on and so forth, and i suppose this is what they mean when they say "the tests of life are unique to each individual"

Test? Of life?

Yes! I believe these are problems we inherit at our young age, so we can solve them when we reach our age of thinking and reason.

to each his own indeed.

before i forget, some similarities are that these period of time are believed to be the time where ones' ancestors return to visit.
Also, the period ends with one wild, epic Sacred Party.

Similar ideas. Different names.
Ramadhan.
Hungry Ghost festival.
Lent.

Why we still fight over differences in form and remain oblivious to the similarities in function is beyond me.

Thanks.

The approach to success~

Everyone at one point of time, if not all the time, has thought about it. Wealth, achievement, succes. We've seen others achieve it, we go through theories and advices and case studies- lots of case studies, to find the secret of success.

What i wonder is what did they go through?

Maybe our approach to success is not entirely correct. Maybe our methods of teaching it isn't really on the right track either. Maybe the problem with what we do is the fact that we're not really trying to achieve it in our own way, but to replicate the success of others.

I don't think someone like Bill Gates found his success by following in the footsteps of another software supertycoon. Simply because there weren't any before him. Even now for that matter.

Warren Buffet kinda created whatever it is he's doing. Many who followed got their share of wealth from following him. They can't quite be as sucessful as him since they can't be the one who created what was already there. Even if they did manage to get more money than him, that success would still be Buffets'.

It's not really about the money is it?
"Wanna be successful? Do what he's doing and earn what he's earning."
-not quite.

Bill Gate's achievement would not be the monetary value held by his assets. It would be more on how he changed the course of humanity. The money is just something there so that people would take notice, and begin to understand what he's achieved. Take the money away, he would still be the guy that changed humanity, but no one would give a shit.

Maybe that's where we're seeing it wrong. We don't really want to be successful or achieve something great, we just want a lot of money. That's what was observed, that's what was understood and also taught.

So and so created this system/structure/world. If you follow it right, you can make lotsa money from it. What if you don't want to follow the system? What if you want to create on of your own? One that others would observe, understand and teach the next generation? Where do you go to learn that?

...and would you still go for it if there isn't going to be much monetary success?

My brain just fuzzed with some thoughts....
Maybe the way we view "money" needs to be reconsidered..

Introductions~

Hi there.

I used to write a lot of stuff. Now i don't.

So i'm going to try something new today.

I'm going to write about anything until i decide to write about something else.

When the flow changes, i will start the new path with a ">". Starting with a "<" means it's related to one of the previous posts.

>Today i got an insight into

> I had problems sleeping last night. I rolled around and round and bury my face into the pillow because i couldn't get something out of my head that was repeating over and over again, getting louder as it goes.

1. paranoia

2. delusion.

needs to be addressed.

>i get restless. i have something on my mind. a vague sort of idea of what to write about. but when i try and focus harder on it. my breath gets short. i get restless. i want OUT and think about other things. more surfaces but no depth.

so why do i get restless when i focus on something?

damn i used to be good at it.

shit the door just slammed shut at 1.34am.

scaaaareeeee...

>dammit it shut again!

gonna check out what that was.

>i hear small animals....screeching in quite a distance.

shouldn't have made those jokes about being home alone in a new residential area.

>i get scared when i focus on something!

but since when and why?

why is it that i don't want to get inside my own head? that place was a comfort zone!

and just to piss off the self, my next one's gonna have a lot of effort in it.

Nightlife~

Earlier tonight i heard a group of dogs barking like mad outside.
Moderately raining but we were hungry.
We went to check it out and found that they were attacking a mother cat that had recently birthed 4 kittens.

We ran out to it and chased the dogs away.
The cat couldn't walk. It just lay there on the wet road, trying to hiss at us.
We found some styrofoam that we could use to carry the cat on.
Struggled to get the cat to understand that we were trying to save her.
Managed to get it on and began carrying her to her kittens.
Wrapped it up in a blanket too. It's a cold night.

I don't know if the cat eventually managed to understand what we were doing.
It was hissing at us most of the time.
I don't think it's a good thing, to be able to relate the cat's inability to trust anything or anyone.
I think i'm starting to understand our purpose in this world.

I hope mother cat is all right. Altho i don't think she can survive the night.
I hope the kittens will be all right.

I'm so angry at the situation but i understand that nothing can be blamed.
Blame the dogs? It's like getting angry at fishes for swimming.
There's nothing to blame here. It's just how the world works.
Reality can be a pretty depressing pill to swallow.

Mother cat still has kittens.

I'm gonna check up on them.

Feel~

Strange. When did i get used to suppressing emotions?
I don't think i let anyone see what i feel anymore.
I can't seem to trace back when or why it started.
Not even how i got pretty damn good at it.

What bugs me is how i think it's beginning to bother me.
Maybe i'm missing out on something here.

The Village~

He wakes early in the morning and began to perform his duties.
Circling the village he observes the defensive walls that protects the villagers.
Villagers greet him as he walks by, and each of them he knew by name.

The village chief. Entrusted to guide the village grow larger but also to ensure the villagers are safely protected from the threats of the world. He greets the baker, the farmer, the young couple, the child and he oversees the construction of defensive walls.

The walls were the first line of defenses for the village. It was tradition to add another layer after every breach. Upon closer inspection, one would be able to see the different layers that had been built over time. He knew the reason behind most of it. Some layers were thinner than average, which implicates a minor breach had occur. Some were much thicker, and the chances are that every single villager remembers why those were built.

He gazed at the earlier layers of the wall, and observed the first layer of considerable thickness.
This was the layer that started it all. he thought to himself. It was the first time the village faced the possibility of complete destruction.

The first betrayal. Destroyer of hope. This wall was built so menacingly back then to send a message to anyone on the outside that they will not be welcomed. The threat from friendly and familiar shadows are any time more dangerous than a large frontal assault.

It was many years later that another layer was added. Strong, sturdy yet friendlier.

He paced a few years into the present and observes the construction of the current layer. It took the villagers more than a year to build, so naturally this was the thickest of all.

He began to consider his idea carefully before announcing it to them, because the idea he as in his head will most definitely not sit well with the others. He knew them so well that he could have this discussion with them, but in his head.

"I wish associate our village with a particular one in the east." he would say.
"When?" they would ask.
"Soon."

"It is too soon to decide such, chief."
"Too risky"
"What if they do not mean well?"
"We are still recovering from the previous incident"

"We act now. The village must be protected from worldly threats, but it must also learn to grow."

Our walls have told me that we have been looking strong yet live in fear for too long.

The Star, 9 September 09~

A KINDERGARTEN teacher who took her feverish pet squirrel to the veterinary clinic had her breasts allegedly groped by the veterinarian instead, reported Harian Metro.

According to the daily, the veterinarian had asked the 27-year old woman to place the squirrel inside her blouse to keep it warm given its “erratic body temperature”.

However, the squirrel got stuck on her bra strap when the 52-year-old veterinarian asked her to take the animal out.

The veterinarian, the report said, saw the woman’s breasts while helping her remove the squirrel and started praising her figure.

He then allegedly told the victim to take care of her body and “beautiful breasts”.

Ampang OCPD Asst Comm Abd Jalil Hasan said the veterinarian then began to demonstrate to her how to massage her breasts.

“He then took advantage by groping and sucking the victim’s breasts. The victim struggled to release herself before the doctor finally let her go,” he told the daily.

“He told her she need not pay for the squirrel’s treatment and asked her to come again. But she decided to lodge a police report,” ACP Abd Jalil Hasan told the daily, adding that the veterinarian was arrested on Monday.

The squirrel died shortly after returning home.


-It's an actual news report.

I love the structure~

A furniture salesman decided that he wanted to expand the
line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris,
France to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris
(this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he
met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that
he thought would sell well back home in the States.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small
bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine,
he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that
the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in
the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his
table, asked him something in French (which he did not
understand), and motioned toward the chair. He invited her to
sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did
not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying
to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture
of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he
ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took
another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it,
and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe
that featured a small group playing romantic music. They
ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a
picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to
dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was
packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a
picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, he has no idea how
she figured out he was in the furniture business.


-some online joke- 

The month of reflection~

It's that time of the year again.
More like halfway through it actually.
That month. Some say it's divine or sacred.
Most call it a nuisance.

The point of things set long ago tend to get irrelevant or forgotten over time.
But let's have some faith in the wisdom of the ancients shall we?

What is the purpose of the month?
Surely it's more than just to abstain from food and water.
I believe it's the month of patience.

Taking shit and not passing it on.

Instead, you keep it in and let it fester. Let it eat you up from the inside-out.
Then comes the self reflection.

What was it that got on your nerves? Why did it get on your nerves?
What made you lose your temper?

Most of the answers can be traced back to ego i'm afraid. Which is what i believe the month is for. Filtering the ego out with patience.

Ego's like a fucking drug. Feels good to get a kick out of it, feels bad to get it out of your system.
It's a drug that's so easy to get hooked on. Much easier than lighting up a smoke. Some people really do believe they need it whereas some don't even truly understand what it is.

We are not special. We were born special, but i think it ran out when we were around the age of reason. We don't need to be special. We just need to function and function damn well.

Ego hides the holder from the truth. It breeds destructive ignorance. Your loved ones watch you burn out as they suffer in silence. You are untouchable, you are beyond help and you are proud of it.

Well anyways, i think people abstain from food and drink for a dumb reason because everyone seems to abstain from food and drink for a dumb reason. If everyone does it, i guess that makes it okay.

Early days~

I was running some errands and decided to make a turn to visit an old place.
Things looked very different, but i still managed to get a slight feel off it.
A lot of things that i had to deal with later in life began from there, that chapter.

It was meant to be forgotten, but i guess i did not.
It was written in a book before, and i ripped the entire chapter out and burnt them.

I guess i really had no reason to be there, but just to feel how it began. I couldn't even locate the right place, but there were plenty of familiar landmarks.

I drove past the girl's school, it was the first of many landmarks that used to guide me there.
I drove past the hawker stalls, where what i thought was the end started to begin.

I couldn't find the location. Maybe it was taken down, or i was lost.

A part of me wants to go back there. It means a lot to me in a way that i never knew possible.

Some scars really take some time to heal, even when it's just a hairline.

Change~

I've been back at home for a few weeks now.

Entered a new phase in life.

This blog will begin receiving frequent updates soon.